tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20822135633150466732024-03-13T15:38:32.731-07:00Genghis Kong Vs. MegaTokyoHaving lain dormant for decades, a terrible creature is about to awaken and threaten the peace of Tokyo city once more. Mutated to an extraordinary size by vast quantities of lager and gin and possessing unfathomable destructive power, Genghis Kong has already been sighted within the Tokyo Bay area. This is his story...Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-82805740233749671992009-07-31T21:49:00.000-07:002009-07-31T22:11:43.893-07:00Genghis Kong vs. Dodgy InternetsArgh! my last few days in Japan and the internets at my dorm have completely died!<br /><br />A bunch of Koreans have just moved into the dorm, and apparently one of them downloaded something malicious/exceeded the download limit or something, and now none of us has any internets. Bugger!<br /><br />So I am currently using a computer at school. Unfortunately all the computer rooms are closed because it's summer holidays now, so I'm using the totally crap, slow useless computer in the corridor near the computer rooms. It's dreadful.<br /><br />So considering my difficult IT situation, and the fact that I'm supposed to be spending the next two days climbing Mt. Fuji, this may turn out to be my last post from Japan. I'll try to at least post one final update when I get back - let you know how I got on with Mt. Fuji - but that doesn't really count, so I've decided to make this my de facto goodbye message.<br /><br />I've been in Japan for almost a year now, and while there have been bad times and difficulties and stress, I think on balance I'm prettypleased with the year. School has been utterly crap. I've learnt less than nothing, but I do actually feel like I can speak Japanese rather betternow than I could before, which I suppose was the whole point on the excursion. However I must say that my life here in Japan has been pretty stressful. I don't even know why it's been stressful - there's no one single source of stress - but I feel extraordinarily tired and run-down, and I am really looking forward to getting home to a country where I understand everything and everything is easy and everyone speaks my language. I'm tired of the heat, tired of trains, tired of washing machines that don't wash and tired of everything costing a fortune. Tokyo is a tiring place to live.<br /><br />I'll definitely be coming back though. Without doubt. Although I think I might try living in a different city. Osaka is supposed to be pretty fun, and Hiroshima is far more relaxed and peaceful. Maybe I'll go and live in Okinawa for a while, get myself a nice tan.<br /><br />Tomorrow will be my 22nd birthday, and I will be climbing Mt. Fuji. Hopefully. It sounds like the climb is pretty hard work - 7 hours up and 5 hours down, overnight. The success rate is less than 50%, and last month a climber was killed by a falling rock, Add to that altitude sickness and twisted ankles, and it's all rather worrying. And the weather forecast isn't good. Also, I may have to abandon the climb altogether if it sounds like a I can't get back down in time to sign for my scholarship at school. So it's all a little bit up-in-the-air whether I even attempt the climb or not, let alone actually complete it. Still, if it doesn't happen in the end then I've got an idea in mind for an alternative - all drinks are half-price all day at the English pub. That's right: my birthday is half-price booze day in Japan. I think they should make it a national holiday.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BdMV42czPCI&hl=ja&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BdMV42czPCI&hl=ja&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Hopefully the internets will come back on in the dorm, and I'll be able to write you an all-singing, all-dancing, lights and music goodbye postarama before I leave, but if not then I guess this is goodbye. I'm sorry if it's a bit of an anticlimax - no pictures, no triumphant fanfare - but in a pinch I'm afraid it might have to do.<br /><br />Thanks for reading,<br />See you all back home in Blighty.<br /><br />Love love love,<br />Genghis Kong<br /><br />xxxxxxxxxxxGenghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-79754682175143765712009-07-20T21:43:00.000-07:002009-07-21T05:44:42.320-07:00Genghis Kong vs. KoreansHello readers,<br /><br />I've been meaning to write to you for some time, but just didn't manage to get around to until today. Much has transpired since last I wrote, possibly most significantly I finished Japanese school. Well, tentatively. I may decide that I actually haven't yet finished Japanese school, but we'll get round to that in a little bit.<br /><br />Over the last week or so of school, rather than studying hard I was mostly fooling around and doing a few fun and exciting things, but to be brutally honest since school ended I have spent most of my time going to awful parties where I have a fairly rubbish time but get very drunk. This has led me to be feeling awful and miserable most of the time, and now that I have just got out of my nocturnal alcoholic cycle, I've picked up a bloody cold from one of my friends. Bastards.<br /><br />In terms of fun things I've done recently which were actually worthwhile and memorable, there are a few. A couple of weeks ago I took part in the TKY Centurion event - a large, organised, (spurious) world record attempt at the largest centurion drinking game ever. For those of you who don't know, the centurion is a fairly simple premise - one shot of beer every minute for 100 minutes. "A shot of beer? Pah! That's less than nothing!" I hear you cry, and you are correct. However 100 shots of beer really is quite a lot, especially as a hundred minutes is not a very long time. Assuming the shots are 25ml each, this amounts to 2.5 litres of beer (about 5 pints) in one hour and 40 minutes. However I have a feeling that a standard shot in Japan is actually 35ml, making it more like 6 and a half pints in 1h40. Needless the say, the levels of drunkenness were quite high that evening.<br /><br />Oh, and you are not allowed to stand up or leave your seat for any reason. Expecially not to urinate. This can put a significant strain on the ol' bladder, as I'm sure you can all imagine.<br /><br />You can visit the official website <a href="http://100.threethousand.org/">here</a> (if you scroll down to 'photos' and click on 'kato' there's a bunch of pictures of us in there), and see my name listed among the victorious centurion champions. I know for certain that more people completed it than are listed there, but either way it was a world record attempt fail. Firstly, it was not very closely policed so people could have easily cheated, and secondly Guinness said that it was irresponsible and dangerous to encourage this kind of drinking behaviour. Which is true.<br /><br />Anyway much merriment was shared by all at the centurion. Incidentally, our centurion team included a pair of very sexy Japanese identical twins. Yeah - that's not just an Austin Powers joke, there really are sexy Japanese identical twins out there. I was just surprised to learn that they hang out with me, of all people.<br /><br />Anyway, centurion finished, two from our table finished it successully. (Possibly three, actually, but I'm not sure. The third guy spent so much time snogging another guy that was with us that I think he must have missed a few shots along the way, but I think he made it to 100, sort of). Everyone's drunk, party's over lets head home. The two gays head off for the gay district, the two twins head home, leaving me, my (American) friend Nate and his (Japanese) girlfriend Mana. Mana at this point is very drunk. So drunk that she can hardly walk, and is tumbling around the street shouting that she hates us.<br /><br />Now unfortunately this does not look good to the casual observer on the street: two large and relatively sober Gaijin leading a completely drunk Japanese girl home, and the Japanese girl shrieking and hitting them. In fact it looks to passers-by very much like we were trying to date-rape her or something.<br /><br />Just then a small asian guy (presumably Japanese) comes up to us saying "Hey Gaijin! Where you going? What you doing with her?" and then asking Mana (in Japanese), "Hey girl, where are going. Do you want know these Gaijin?" to which Mana responded with a loud "FUCK YOU!" in English. (not very helpful)<br /><br />It's worth pointing out here that Mana is completely crazy and can be rather a belligerent drunk.<br /><br />The guy continues pestering us and we try to explain ourselves - with Mana continuing to be distinctly unhelpful - and eventually he leaves us be, but as we approach the crossing I look over my shoulder to see he is still following us. Mana is still reeling about the place and occassionally shouting or hitting Nate, and can't stand on her own so Nate is holding her own to keep her up, and the little asian dude comes up to us again while we're waiting for the lights to change, and is being really quite aggressive now, grabbing at Mana's arm and pushing at Nate, so I just stepped up behind him - I don't like fighting, I was just hoping that my bigness might get the little scrote to fuck off - at which point he goes off on one: shoving my chest screaming in my face and just generally trying to start a fight.<br /><br />Just as I was thinking that it's particularly ballsy for one little asian dude to pick a fight with two big Gaijin, two of friends appear who had apparently been waiting across the road. What a fucking set-up! Clearly their game is for the one guy to pick a fight with a big guy, and then the other two guys come in to back him up and have a jolly-old beat down on the guy.<br /><br />Fortunately, though, it seemed that one of them was willing to throw the first punch, and I sure as hell wasn't so eventually I managed to talk them down and we just walked home, but it still rattled me a fair bit.<br /><br />Obviously we were a little pissed off with Mana, who could have easily just explained to them in Japanese "No, this is my boyfriend, this is my friend, we're going home", but afterwards when we asked her why she hadn't done this she just said "I don't wanna talk to him. He was a Korean anyway, so he's a Gaijin too!"<br /><br />Well great! Thanks Mana, just as long as we don't get beaten up by Japanese people you're totally willing to let us get beaten up by Koreans? You're so thoughtful!<br /><br />She was very apologetic the next day, and as I understand it Nate is actually pretty good at fighting, so had it come down to it we might not have actually been on the receiving end of a beating, but still - a very sout end to an otherwise very fun night.<br /><br />Still - I'm putting that down as the first time I've been the victim of a racist attack! Cool - I can tick that one off the list of 'life experiences I never really wanted to have'.<br /><br />But anyway, no harm no foul, I guess. It could have been worse.<br /><br />Ignoring that, I carried on doing to do (like Betty Boo) and eventually it was the last week of school and I was taking all my final exams. The exams were all pretty easy, I would say. The only one I have got back so far I scored a fairly respectable 98% on, although that wasn't a language class taht was my Manga and Anime class.<br /><br />Now the reason I say that I have finished school, but maybe not, is that I basically didn't do any of the work for the classes that I don't have to pass. The way the year abroad works with Sheffield University is that you have to pass all the Japanese language classes you take, and then you have to submit a 6000-word research paper, but any other extra classes you take at your host university make no difference - you can fail them or you can get an A, and no one will care. For some reason, unlike in most Universities I know of where the essays are usueally deu in the middle of the term and the exams are at the end, for my classes everything was due all in the same week - I had about 6 essays and 6 exams all in the same week. Putting aside the fact that my time management skills are miserable, I have also been suffering miserably with insomnia these past few weeks and I spent most of my last weeks of school in something of a daze from lack of sleep. Therefore I took the executive decision not to do any of the essays for classes I didn't need to pass. I did all the work for my Japanese classes and hopefully will have passed them with a decent grade, but I did none of the final papers for my three other classes, because it doesn't matter if i fail them.<br /><br />So as it stands I have finished school (woop woop!) with 4 passes and 3 fails (boo!). Although I do quite like the fact that I have finished school, this rather lacklustrre ending has left a bit of a bad tastet in my mouth, so I'm thinking I might now write all the papers and submit them late. Even if they are so late that they can't be counted and I fail the class anyway, it might make me feel a little better about the situation. I've made a start on a couple of them actually, but i'm sure you can understand it's difficult to motivate yourself to write a paper which makes no difference to any part of your acamdemic career, except perhaps your self- esteem.<br /><br />Yours nose-blocked-uppedly,<br />Genghis Kong<br /><br />xxx<br /><br />(P.S Sorry very wordy today - no pictures. I'll try to be more interesting tomorrow)Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-36869993776159582932009-07-03T12:02:00.001-07:002009-07-08T04:52:34.630-07:00Genghis Kong vs. the British CouncilGood Evening!<br /><br />Right, well, it's now 4am, and I am definitely drunk, so I will keep this short.<br /><br />I just got back from my drinks reception at the British Council. I may go so far as to say that my little speech went pretty well - I did forget what I was supposed to say, but I covered it well and carried on to -<br /><br />*SNORE*<br /><br />- wha? huh? what just happened? I think I must have just drifted off there for a moment.<br /><br />Actually it's been about 5 days since i started writing this post. You can't really blame me for giving up on it at 4am with an extremely high level of drunkenness. I was going to continue with it the following day, but it sort of turned into one of *those* weekends. You know, the type of weekend which seems to be over as soon as it started, leaving you confused, disoriented and with far less money than you started out with.<br /><br />I'll briefly summarise it for you.<br /><br />After spending ages scouring Tokyo for a shirt in my size (harder than you might imagine), I donned my suit and made my way to the British Council's office in Tokyo for a University of Sheffield alumni drinks reception, at which I had been asked to speak. It was a little awkward at first - I can do polite conversation pretty well, but starting up a conversation with someone I've never met before doesn't come very easily to me - but my little speech went well. Lots of people came up to me and said how good it was. Apparently speaking is something I'm rather good at. Maybe I should be a motivational speaker.<br /><br /><object width="445" height="364"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/p6fBZ1BtcUQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/p6fBZ1BtcUQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="445" height="364"></embed></object><br /><br />So everyone thanked me profusely, and I was given a CD of Bach's Brandenburg Concertos as a thank you (which I am sadly unable to listen to, because my computer's CD-Drive is on its way out), and I went to Roppongi with two men that I had met there. These two were Sheffield old boys and now fast friends in Tokyo, but in all honesty they were a pair of nigh-on insufferable arseholes. That said, they both seemed to be pretty successful in terms of making money in Japan, so I thought that it might be worth my while to hang out with them for a bit, pick their brains and maybe make some useful contacts for the future. Also, they kindly offered to bankroll me for a night on the tiles in Shibuya.<br /><br />So that brings us to the exact moment at which I started writing this post - home from the British Council (and Roppongi), drunk, at four in the morning.<br /><br />I woke up around noon the next day, feeling dreadful. I sat around in my underwear stinking for a little while, before remembering that my mate Scott had said something about a barbecue on the roof. I dragged my pale and trembling body up the ladder to the roof to find a dozen Japanese kids sitting around having a barbecue in the sun. Fortunately one of the Japanese kids was in fact my friend Scott, so I joined them for some barbecue. And some beer. For breakfast.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SlRgv04y8dI/AAAAAAAAAOo/aNosH6bWcRc/s1600-h/BBQ.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SlRgv04y8dI/AAAAAAAAAOo/aNosH6bWcRc/s400/BBQ.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356012231617343954" border="0" /></a>See? Here's some concrete evidence that I hang out with Japanese people. Occasionally.<br /><br />Barbecue proceeded with much merriment and meat for several hours. Eventually someone had the idea of going to the shop to buy vodka, and we all got drunk. A few people left, some new people arrived, and eventually it became nighttime and we were still barbecuing on the roof. Night fell, and the decision was taken to go to Shibuya to rendezvous with the birthday party of our friend <span style="font-size:100%;">Bård. </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Bård is a Norwegian Judo player who smells incredibly bad and talks a lot of nonsense, but he's pretty funny (as long as he doesn't come so close that you can smell him) and a valuable addition to any drinking event.<br /><br />After a while wandering around failing to get into nightclubs, we ended up at karaoke. On the way to karaoke, Scott and </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Bård bought some novelty man thongs from a strange shop, and decided that we should put them on in secret and then do a karaoke striptease, much to everone's amusement/shock/disgust. For some reason, I felt that this wouldn't be an awful idea and agreed to participate. Fortunately, I have not seen any photos of that particular moment (although I fear they may actually exist), so here's a photo of me and </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Bård at the Karaoke, still with our clothes on.<br /><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SlRgwtreLPI/AAAAAAAAAOw/6EzqLUuF7-s/s1600-h/smelly.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SlRgwtreLPI/AAAAAAAAAOw/6EzqLUuF7-s/s400/smelly.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356012246862277874" border="0" /></a>Doesn't he just look smelly?<br /><br />Anyway, we got out from karaoke about 5am, I think. The sun was up, people were on their way to work, the world was going about its business. More importantly the trains had started running again so we could get home. So we decided to go to a club. At 5am.<br /><br />We spent a few hours in a little downstairs hip-hop club/bar, with me dancing ferociously and everyone else looking on in shock and awe. I've been told that mhy dancing was something rather special, but I don't specifically remember. There is, I believe, a video of it on the Facebooks for those of you interested enough to track it down, but I'm not going to link to it here because I'm a little embarassed.<br /><br />Aaaaaaanyway, finally got home at 9am Sunday morning. All this had started out as a barbecue around lunchtime on Saturday, remember. Needless to say, Sunday was a non-event. I hardly saw Sunday at all. And that is how I went from Friday evening to Monday morning without getting anything much useful done.<br /><br />[That's quite enough debauchery - ed.]<br /><br />Important informations time now. Ladies and Gentlemen, my return to England has been postponed.<br /><br />*Pause for dramatic effect. Wait for murmur to die down*<br /><br />Yes, my return has been postponed, but only by three days.<br /><br />*Pause and wait for sighs of relief to die away*<br /><br />Due to slight complications regarding my scholarship, it turns out that I have to be in Tokyo on the third of August in order to receive my scholarship money. Curiously enough, I will actually receive the scholarship money on the 31st of July, but they won't give it to me then unless I will be there on the 3rd. You see, I need to sign for scholarship on the 3rd so that I can receive it on the 31st (of the previous month). Before anyone says anything - yes, this country is crazy.<br /><br />However, this has probably turned out for the better, overall, as not only am I receiving a massive handful of cash (¥80,000! That's loads!), but I am now planning to spend my birthday climbing Mt. Fuji! I know this is quite a departure from my typical birthday celebrations of going to the pub then accidentally going to Moles, but I'm really looking forward to it. Although I am rather nervous - it's a 7-hour ascent, and I'm not the fittest man in the country. Well, I guess I've no choice but to do my best, eh? DYB DYB! DOB DOB! Ging-gang-goo!<br /><br />(I was never actually in the boyscouts)<br /><br />So I will now be flying home on the 4th. As mentioned before, this does mean that I won't be in Bath for my birthday, sadly, but I'm sure we can have some manner of belated birthday celebration, so you won't be missing out on anything. My apologies to anyone who had arranged me a surprise party and is now going to have to tell the clown and the conjurer that their services are no longer required.<br /><br />Also, exciting news just in - there are flowers on one of my little tomato plants! Yay!<br /><br />My ongoing tomato saga has been fraught with tragedies. My original crop of 6 tomatoes and 6 chilis is now down to 2 healthy tomato plants, 3 rather poorly tomato plants, and 3 very under-the-weather chili plants. Nonetheless, one of the two healthy ones has brouoght forth flowers! This means that at some point it should actually bear fruit! Unfortunately, that might not happen before I leave the country, but I'm still counting it as a win.<br /><br />Here's the family portrait:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SlR26D7qDAI/AAAAAAAAAPA/1NVTitCbM8c/s1600-h/100_1402.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SlR26D7qDAI/AAAAAAAAAPA/1NVTitCbM8c/s400/100_1402.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356036596710378498" border="0" /></a><br />In the middle, two large and (relatively) healthy tomato plants, which will possibly one day manage to bear fruit. One step down, standing vertical, is the healthiest of the surviving chili plants. Believe it or not, this scrawny little thing actually appears to have some flower buds at the top of it, so we may even see some chilis before the summer is over! One step up from the centre, are the three ugly sisters. These three did not react very well to being put outside. They haven't died yet, but they have not grown very much and their leaves are all pale and droopy. I don't hold out much hope for them. Then finally there are the two reclining chili plants. Basically, when I put the chili plants outside, all their leaves fell off, but new ones started growing from the top. This led them to become very top-heavy, and ultimately unable to support their own weight. I had one spare stake, so I staked up the healthiest looking of my chili plants, but these two were not so lucky. Instead, I decided that if they were too top-heavy to stand up straight, I'll just grow them lying down! Seems like a perfect solution, right? So I've pegged them down into a second pot of earth, in the vague and unlikely hope that they will put down root from where the stem touches the soil.<br /><br />Finally there are the two empty pots. These, along with the pots my chili plants are reclining into, stand as a solemn monument to those brave plants which did not survive this far. Rest in peace, brothers, and god bless.<br /><br />I also bought a T-Shirt!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SlR253PWDrI/AAAAAAAAAO4/HpISTWD1Hx8/s1600-h/100_1376.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SlR253PWDrI/AAAAAAAAAO4/HpISTWD1Hx8/s400/100_1376.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356036593303293618" border="0" /></a>Isn't that tasteful? Yay! Hitler!<br /><br />Much love,<br />Genghis xXxGenghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-26847811145871824282009-06-30T23:37:00.000-07:002009-07-01T01:15:51.039-07:00Genghis Kong vs. The FlyGreetings Earthlings!<br /><br />I had a thought earlier that struck me as somewhat interesting. Or at least it struck me as something vaguely akin to interesting.<br /><br />I have a friend, and she is a Muslim. Now if I say Muslim woman, it's possible that some of you will think of something like this:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SksHBq3kbiI/AAAAAAAAAOg/5xhSuR9lBek/s1600-h/Muslim+women+shopping.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 309px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SksHBq3kbiI/AAAAAAAAAOg/5xhSuR9lBek/s400/Muslim+women+shopping.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353380307328593442" border="0" /></a><br />But actually you couldn't be further from the truth. She is an extremely liberated, left-wing, bisexual feminist, who drinks alcohol and uses drugs. But she won't eat pork, because she's a Muslim.<br /><br />It just struck me as odd that she adheres so strictly to the avoidance of pork (she won't even eat something that's been cooked with or near pork), but somehow the prohibition of all narcotics doesn't seem to all that important. I'm no Islamic scholar, but as I understand it Muslims avoid pork because it is 'unclean', whereas alcohol and drugs are 'abominations'. So why is she avoiding the unclean in favour of the abominable?<br /><br />Curious behaviour. It just goes to reinforce my general belief that people (on the whole) are crazy.<br /><br />As an amusing sidenote, the word 'alcohol' actually comes from Arabic, despite its consumption being prohibited by Islam. The story goes that when the prophet Muhammad was decrying the evils of drinking, he just said the most loathsome, disgusting, abominable syllables that he could think of at the time, which happened to be 'Qohol'. 'Al' is Arabic for 'the', and the name stuck: 'al-qohol'.<br /><br />I like to imagine how this might have ended up had Muhammad's first language been Modern English.<br /><br />"Drink not of these wines and liquors - they cloud the brain, inflame lust and violent passions, and lead the heart away from the light of Allah. They are a false happiness, and their use can only lead you to the Devil. I shall call this wicked liquor... BLEURGH"<br /><br />And for the rest of time the world would be calling alcohol "thebleurgh". In chemistry, alcohols would no longer take the suffix '-ol', but 'eurgh': ethaneurgh, methaneurgh, even mentheurgh to keep you minty fresh. People in support groups around the world would be introducing themselves thus: "Hi everyone, my name's Gary, and I'm a Thebleurghic."<br /><br />I suppose, ultimately, it wouldn't actually make a material difference to anyone's life, but it amuses me nonetheless.<br /><br />Now, I am not alone as I write this blog. In fact, I am accompanied by hundreds of tiny helpers. No - I haven't lost my mind or contacted the spirit realm, I just have a fruit fly infestation in my room. I have been battling these tiny bastards for about a week now, and let me say, they are one of the most persistent and irritating adversaries I have ever faced. The only real remedy for fruit flies, I think, is prolonged and rigorous cleanliness, but every time I think I've finally got my room completely clear of any food waste, there's something I've missed and then I'm back to square one. Last week I thought I had the bastards beat - I had done all my washing up, emptied all my bins, so food lying around, everything clean, and there were hardly any flies left. I noticed there were still a few buzzing around my bins, but assumed that they would die soon. But then I noticed that they weren't actually buzzing around the bins, they were buzzing around the rice cooker that is next to my bins. That's when I saw them crawling in and out of the steam vent in the top of the rice cooker. With trepidation I lifted the lid and a whole swarm of tiny black bastard fruit flies swarmed up to meet me. Fuck.<br /><br />Again, today, I thought I had got rid of the flies. Then I opened my school bag to discover yesterday's lunchbox and a horde of evil little insects. Fuck.<br /><br />I've bought something that claims to be a fly trap, but aside from the fact that it doesn't seem to have any means of actually trapping the flies, it doesn't even seem to be succesfully attracting them. The one place in my room where I can guarantee there are no flies is the damn fly trap. I keep burning mosquito coils too, and the mosquito coils at least seem to bother the flies a bit - I like to think I'm pissing them off - but it doesn't seem to bother them enough to make them leave or make them die, so it's ultimately not a very effective solution.<br /><br />If anyone has any top tips for how to get rid of flies, they would be very much appreciated!<br /><br />In other news of ineteresting or exciting things, on Friday I have been invited to speak at a drinks reception for University of Sheffield alumni at offices of the British Council in Tokyo - very exciting! I hope I can still remember how to hobnob with bigwigs in polite society... It's been a while since I had to make polite conversation with anyone. Hopefully this will be a good opportunity to make some contacts with people in prestigious companies and such - perhaps I'll be able to score myself some kind of internship or something! Or perhaps I'll get really nervous and accidentally drink too much and embarass myself. That would be fun too.<br /><br />Now I just need to find myself a smart shirt. Dress code is lounge suits - which I understand to mean 'ordinary suits' - but I don't have a shirt that fits. I'm also wondering whether or not to wear my bright yellow rubber Casio watch. Should I go for smart and understated, or slightly wacky and multicoloured. If I paired the yellow watch with bright yellow socks, would that make it better?<br /><br />Anyway - I'm going to sign off for now. The smell of the mosquito coil is making me feel decidedly unwell, so I'm going to go somewhere for some fresh air. Maybe I'll go get a coffee and read my book. Incidentally, I am currently reading a book called Silk by a man called Alessandro Barrico, and I would like to recommend it in the highest possible term to all and sundry. It's very short, and written in a very simple, plain style, but it manages to be absolutely enchanting in its simplicity. It's also set in Japan, so it manages to encompass virtually everything I look for in a novel - short, not originally in English, and relating to Japan.<br /><br />(That's me practicing for polite conversation, by the way. How did I do?)<br /><br />Farewell my darlings!<br /><br />and R.I.P Michael Jackson!<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/N8Qko5m8oAw&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/N8Qko5m8oAw&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />love<br />Genghis xxGenghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-19086971829241536902009-06-08T06:05:00.000-07:002009-06-08T07:02:49.977-07:00Genghis Kong vs. Rikkyo UniversityThe more astute among you may have noticed that haven't blogged for a while. I would cite the usual excuses, but I think we can probably skip that part and move on, okay?<br /><br />It is June already - a fact which has taken me very much by surprise. I think by the time June has come around no one can pretend it's late Spring any more; it is most emphatically Summer now. In England, of course, Summer and June are synonymous with sunshine, barbecues, afternoons in beer gardens, bumblebees in the garden and all such idyllic scenes of British summer. Not so in Tokyo, I'm afraid, where Summer is a by-word for sweltering heat and humidity and June signals not the start of the barbecue season, but of the rainy season.<br /><br />No, Summer is not Tokyo's finest season. The weather in Spring was extremely fine, but it's more-or-less downhill from here until September now. Nothing but rain, steam and heatstroke to look forward too for the next 8 weeks.<br /><br />That's right, in only 8 weeks (actually, slightly less than 8 weeks) I shall be returned to England and celebrating a Birthday in the garden/park/pub/gutter (probably in that order). It seems extraordinarily soon now, although I must admit my feelings about that are mixed. I shan't deny that I am extremely keen to get home - I miss my family, my friends, my home and just being with my own people. My own sarcastic, cynical, bitter, alcohol-dependent countrymen with whom I have so much in common.<br /><br />But despite my desire to be back on Her Majesty's soil, I can't help but feel that I have not yet achieved all that I set to in Japan. Indeed, I have achieved virtually nothing that I set out to, and i can't shake the feeling that my return home to England will be tinged with regret at having (as I see it) wasted a year of my life, not to mention a great opportunity to improve myself (and, of course, my Japanese). I don't quite know where it all went awry... When I first got to Japan I spent a lot of time with Japanese people - you may remember the IFL from earlier blog posts - but rapidly came to the conclusion that I didn't like them, so I basically stopped socialising with any Japanese people. Now, I'm not saying that I don't like any Japanese people, just that I don't much like the IFLs and I failed to find any better Japanese with which to replace them.<br /><br />And so I came to socialise almost exclusively with Americans, which really does defeat the purpose of spending a year in Japan.<br /><br />I went to Yokohama National University last weekend to drink with my mate James, and there I got a glimpse of what could have been. My university, Rikkyo, is an elite Tokyo private university with a very small student body. It owns an elementary school, a middle school and a high school which feed directly into it, and creates a student populace of incredibly sheltered, unworldly, small-minded, posh, rich Tokyoites with whom I can't find any common ground. They have such a sheltered, simplistic view of the world that conversing with them is really more akin to talking to children than university students, and in general I just find them infantile, shallow and uninteresting. Clearly, there are a few who are aberrations in this society of wide-eyed but tiny-minded children, and as far as possible I try to hang out with them, but overall my attempts to socialise with Rikkyo students have been largely unsuccessful.<br /><br />Yokohama National University, by contrast, is a large state-funded university - neither elite nor Tokyo-based - and as far as I can tell is populated by a throng of rowdy drunkards, musicians, dance crews, bums and (presumably) a few serious students. In short, roughly what a student body ought to be. I can't help but feel that had I gone to Yoko Uni instead, I might have made more of myself this year. But there's nothing to be done about it now, and no sense in regretting a decision which was almost entirely out of my control. Besides, if I had gone to Yokohama I know for ceratin that I would have had no money and would have been living in the grottiest dormitories imaginable.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/Si0VNQN6ouI/AAAAAAAAAN4/O-ojNNBdl3M/s1600-h/100_1335.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/Si0VNQN6ouI/AAAAAAAAAN4/O-ojNNBdl3M/s400/100_1335.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344951650194465506" border="0" /></a>This is a picture of Yokohama University. Those signs say 'Tequila'. I think these men were associated with the Rock Music Society or something, and that's why they were selling me tequila. Or something. Either way, they were selling tequila with no shirts on.<br /><br />You see what I mean? This university is clearly made for me! Alcohol and shirtless men? It's perfect!<br /><br />Aside from my trip to Yokohama, my life has taken on a fairly mundane rhythm. It involves mostly going to school, going to the gym and going to karaoke. And eating. That's pretty much it. However, I have replaced variety of activities in my life with sheer quantity of the only four things I do. Except school - I still just do the bare minimum of school. But I go to the gym 2-3 hours a day, 6 days a week, I go to karaoke 2-3 times a week, for 5-7 hours at a time, and I aim to eat between 5 and 7 meals a day. By the time I get back to England I am going to be weirdly muscular and incredibly good at singing karaoke. I'm a little bit concerned about my rapid musculation - I find the idea of me being all ripped and muscley and what-not to be really quite disturbing. Check out my muscular back:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/Si0Xuc5kKcI/AAAAAAAAAOA/9ts71LrSM04/s1600-h/100_1369.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/Si0Xuc5kKcI/AAAAAAAAAOA/9ts71LrSM04/s400/100_1369.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344954419557706178" border="0" /></a><br />Sorry about the weird angle - taking a photo of your own back is rather tricky.<br /><br />But anyway, if I keep working out at this rate for the next 2 months, there's a definite risk that I'll be getting rather buff by the time I come home. I don't think I'm mentally prepared for that.<br /><br />Here's a picture of my 2 most stalwart karaoke companions. We've got some seriously deep three-part harmonies going on. You've never heard Kiss From a Rose or Can You Feel the Love Tonight sound so good.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/Si0Y4VxgsDI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/NmDa_af8ets/s1600-h/100_1310.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/Si0Y4VxgsDI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/NmDa_af8ets/s400/100_1310.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344955688955195442" border="0" /></a><br />Ummm... No homo, okay?<br /><br />And here's a photo of my balls in a dude's face. Again, no homo.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/Si0Y4jDPFiI/AAAAAAAAAOY/HrbGrT-blOc/s1600-h/100_1286.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/Si0Y4jDPFiI/AAAAAAAAAOY/HrbGrT-blOc/s400/100_1286.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344955692519200290" border="0" /></a><br />And essentially that is what I've been doing recently.<br /><br />Hope you all are well.<br />Write soon,<br />love<br /><br />Genghis Kong xx.Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-53970213930388338512009-05-07T06:14:00.000-07:002009-05-07T08:19:16.981-07:00Genghis Kong vs. Killer Fungal SporesHello world!<br /><br />Sorry I didn't write y'all sooner. A curious combination of being theoretically terribly busy, but in reality almost completely inactive has led me not to write anything for quite some time. And now it's May already? May the 7th? Wow. Time really does fly when you're almost entirely inert but simultaneously very stressed.<br /><br />Let me explain myself. I have been theoretically very busy these last few weeks, which is to say I have had a lot of work to do. Most notable among this is the 6000 word research project I was supposed to be writing for Sheffield over the last 8 months, but (in classic style) completely neglected to do. So I have been terribly busy with work. Theoretically.<br /><br />Unfortunately, I have actually been completely inactive. The fact that 'I'm very busy with work' stops me from going out and doing anything exciting, because I should be working. Unfortunately it doesn't stop me from wasting hours and hours of time in front of the computer listening to Kate Bush and looking at funny videos of stupid things.<br /><br />So that is how I have spent the last few weeks - staying in, stressing about work, but making no meaningful effort to get any work done. Hence I've not really done anything blogworthy, hence no blog.<br /><br />But I felt I probably owed it to all of you to write a little something, just to keep you all interested and make sure you're still paying attention; none of you sleeping at the back of class.<br /><br />So - what have I been up to? I have started school again (huzzah!). Yes, school continues in a frustratingly badly organised and uninspiring way. My language classes this semester are actually much better - I'm not re-covering stuff I learnt three years ago, and some of the assignments are actually quite difficult (!) - but my other classes seem pretty dreadful. Fortunately, I'm allowed to fail all the classes apart form language if I want to and Sheffield Uni won't really mind. Still, I'll not aim for a fail, and will continue to <span style="font-style: italic;">gambarimasu</span>, which is a wonderful Japanese word meaning 'to persevere'. They use it in place of 'good luck' or 'do your best', because in the mind of the Japanese luck is of no great merit, nor is how well you actually do something. All that matters is that you persevere, even if you're utterly useless and have no skill or talent whatsoever. Because of this, someone with no great talent who spends years drudging away mediocrely is more respected than someone with great natural talent who can do whatever it is easily straight off the bat.<br /><br />One of the most cutting remarks you make to someone if they ask you how well they did something is <span style="font-style: italic;">yoku gambarimashita - </span>'you persevered well'. That's about as close as you can get to saying it was absolutely bloody awful in this back-to-front language. The only more direct put-down I can think of would be <span style="font-style: italic;">chotto...</span> meaning 'a bit...', or <span style="font-style: italic;">maa... <span style="font-style: italic;">- </span></span>'umm...'<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /><br /></span>So I'm back at school. That's about it. My big Year Abroad Project is due next week, and I finally got round to actually writing it today. I'm at 3000 words which I rekcon ain't too bad for a day or two's work. Should have it finished within a couple more days, with a spot of luck, and then I expect I will get very drunk.<br /><br />Which is actually something I've been doing rather less often these days. Growing financial concerns, ongoing health and lifestyle concerns and two 'incidents' - the details of which are not spectacular, but nonetheless I'll not go into them here because my parents would read it and disapprove - have spurred me to curtail my wantonness significantly.<br /><br />Now, 'curtail significantly' is clearly a relative phrase. Those of you who do not know me well might not realise quite how much wantonness I habitually indulge in, but for me 'significantly curtailed' still includes getting very drunk at least once or twice a week. At least drunk enough to regret my drunkenness and not quite know where all my money went, although I have at least been staying away from the all-night-karaoke first-train-back get-home-smashed-at-noon-the-next-day kind of behaviour. That sort of activity is just silly.<br /><br />But yes - only drinking once or twice a week! Me! Shock! Horror! Stop the presses!<br /><br />What a turn-up for the books, eh?<br /><br />So not drinking much, still not smoking, going to the gym 5 or more times a week: it's all very surprising. I really didn't expect it to come to this.<br /><br />In fact I seem to making bold steps towards my New Year's Resolution - dedicated readers might remember - to 'sort my life out'. Let's review the resolutions and see how I'm doing...<br /><ol><li>Study more, work harder, be less lazy - okay, this one still needs some work. Let's move on.</li><li>Drink less booze, less often and be less drunk all the time - check. So far not doing too bad on this one.<br /></li><li>Exercise more, eat properly, lose loads of weight - Exercising more - yes; eating pretty well- yes; losing loads of weight - remains to be seen, but I'm optimistic</li><li>Have more sex - *ahem* Nope. Total fail.</li></ol>But let's not dwell on that last one there. In fact, lets move on to more serious issues.<br /><br />Britain's Got Talent. Now I may not technically live in Britain at the moment, but that doesn't mean Britain hasn't Got Talent, nor does it mean that I shouldn't be enjoying Britain's much-vaunted Talent to its fullest.<br /><br />I know I'm not the first one to point out that Susan Boyle is not actually that amazing of a singer. Admittedly, amongst the standard of those who enter BGT she may well be one of the better singers, but compared to actual singers - professional singers who can actually sing - she's really not much more than a fairly decent club singer. I'm not trying to be a party pooper -she definitely put a smile on my face when she turned out not to be a completely embarassing tragic crazy lady, but she's not really that great a singer.<br /><br />Jamie Pugh on the other hand - now I really liked his voice. Tempered by extreme nervousness, of course, he sounded rather mouselike and timid, but there was something to it that I actually really liked. Out of interest I started listening to professional versions of these Les Miserables songs, and whereas Susan Boyle compares as decent enough, but just not as good as the pros, I thought that Jamie Pugh sounded very different to the professionals, but had heaps of merit all his own. He just has a lovely voice. I think the word 'melifluous' describes it quite well in a neat linguistic cliche.<br /><br />So in summary, Jamie Pugh FTW. Although I actually reckon it'll come down to a Susan Boyle/Jamie Pugh double act singing the hits of Les Mis to win in the final. Just a hunch.<br /><br />Oh and Jamie Pugh also has the most adorable face. So sad and droopy. Like a slightly melted Rafa Benitez. Like a cross between Neil Morrissey and a potato. What a lovely man.<br /><br />Anyway, all this Talent got me listening to Les Miserables. I've downloaded the soundtrack, and I've decided that i want to play Jean ValJean in a production of it. That is my decision. So I'm thinking about taking up Am Dram once I get back to Sheff. Of course, I probably won't actually end up doing any Am Dram, but I'll certainly talk about it a lot and my friends and family will say how good I would be at it but then I'll not actually bother. It's a lot easier that way, I feel. Less stagefright as well.<br /><br />So the last point of business for the day, I think, shall be my tentative foray into the world of horticulture. Regular readers will recall that I planted some tomato and chilli seeds about 6 weeks or so ago. Well, as the saying goes: from tiny tomato seeds, mighty tomato plants grow. Or something. But the point is my teeny-tiny little seedlets have grown into this fairly impressive jungle:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SgLx71O28sI/AAAAAAAAANY/Q8xtx-FB1WM/s1600-h/100_1227.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SgLx71O28sI/AAAAAAAAANY/Q8xtx-FB1WM/s400/100_1227.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333090918964064962" border="0" /></a>That's tomato plants potted up individually on the right, chilli plants still in their seed tray on the left (although I really ought to pot them out by now). The tomatoes have gone a curious dark shade of green because I rather rashly put them out onto my roof rather too soon. They got a little sunburnt and overexposed, I fear, but I've brought them back in now and they seem to be recovering.<br /><br />I have just noticed, though, some strange white fuzzy things growing at the base of the stems of both my chilis and my tomatoes. The look rather like roots, but they're growing above ground. I think this might be because the humidity in my bedroom is so high that they actually think they're underwater half the time, but the other possibility is that it's some kind of killer fungus that's going to take them over and kill them, then grow to a monstrous size and attack me in the night, sucking all my vital force out through my toenail, leaving me a dessicated beige husk until I erupt into a fountain of new fungal spores transforming all of Tokyo into braindead fungus drones.<br /><br />I hope they're just confused little roots.<br /><br />That's about all I think I have to say for today, so I will bid you adieu. I realise that today's post has been a little dry - not much multimedia presence - so to make up for this shortfall, I'm going to treat you to some funny pictures of me!<br /><br />Okay here's one of me now, sitting in my room, writing a blog, eyeballing a bunch of bananas.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SgL49MLnAiI/AAAAAAAAANg/qYjY1WXTH2s/s1600-h/100_1234.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SgL49MLnAiI/AAAAAAAAANg/qYjY1WXTH2s/s400/100_1234.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333098638885716514" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />Here's one of me Oli kindly took while we were travelling around Japan.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I reckon this one might have been while waiting for a train, possibly Tokyo to Kyoto. Not sure.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I'm sure you'll all agree it catches me at my very best.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Really brings out my gums and blackheads and nosehair in a way that most photographs just don't do justice to.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SgL49cJ_IXI/AAAAAAAAANo/ou8Ct1wOpE0/s1600-h/best+foto+EVAR.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SgL49cJ_IXI/AAAAAAAAANo/ou8Ct1wOpE0/s400/best+foto+EVAR.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333098643173876082" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />And finally I'm going to treat you to a photograph from my youth.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Brace yourselves.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Seriously, brace yourselves.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This is, as far as I know, the only surviving photo of me from when I had long hair.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />That's right, I had long hair.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I reckon I'm about 16 in this photo.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />No, I'm not in drag.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />For your information I'm in fancy dress.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />As a pirate.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />And that is my real hair.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Honest.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Oh,<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />And did I say,<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />BRACE YOURSELF<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SgL49pbjnLI/AAAAAAAAANw/zzUMLRsCzMU/s1600-h/OH+GOOD+GOD+NO%21.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 270px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SgL49pbjnLI/AAAAAAAAANw/zzUMLRsCzMU/s400/OH+GOOD+GOD+NO%21.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333098646737231026" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Good Night.<br /><br />Genghis.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span>Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-89250430362318131692009-04-14T19:06:00.000-07:002009-04-15T03:10:05.879-07:00Genghis Kong vs. The Sacred Iron Phallus of KawasakiSunday of last week dawned bright and blustery. I was not personally awake to see the dawn, of course, but it was still bright and blustery when I awoke at the ungodly hour of 9-ish so I assume that that was how it dawned. It was with a sense of nervous anticipation that I broke my fast and performed my morning ablutions (checked my Facebook and e-mails, looked at youtube for a while - the traditional morning rituals), for I had arranged some days earlier to spend the day at a penis festival in Kawasaki.<br /><br />This plan had come about during an utterly failed - although nonetheless very enjoyable - attempt at a hanami (cherry blossom viewing) party in Yokohama. I had been trying to arrange a hanami party in Ueno park in Tokyo, but due to a rather feeble response to my RSVPs, I decided at the last minute to abandon that plan and take myself down to yokohama instead, where my friend James was attending a hanami party of his own. Having gathered together myself and a friend (Kaleb) we set off (3 hours late) for Yokohama's Yamashita park, to view cherry blossoms. When we arrived, however, we discovered that Yamashita is the only park in japan to be completely without cherry trees. Not a single one. So an utter failure with regards to hanami, although we still sat around by the sea in the sun and had a couple of beers under the trees, so it was very pleasant. I think it's worth mentioning that while walking from the train station to the park we passed through an area called sakuragicho, which means cherry tree district, so you would have thought that cherry trees wouldn't have been too hard to find.<br /><br />So beer and time was merrily shared in Yokohama, and James mentioned that on Sunday there was a famous penis festival happening in Kawasaki, and that he and his friends were planning to attend (those of you who know James will not find this surprising at all). Already with a considerable measure of Asahi Superdry swilling around inside me, I don't think I really had any option but to eagerly promise to go with them. We were about to go out that evening for a proper drunking session around Tokyo, but at that moment I realised I had no money, so that particular event was called off, and I went home. It will happen soon though, I'm sure, and when it does I will tell you all about it. Or at least, as much of it as I remember.<br /><br />So on Sunday morning I set off for Kawasaki. The station was uncommonly full of gaijin, cameras at the ready, as I understand this festival has become rather infamous among western tourists. From Kawasaki station we had to take another little train to the particular district, and on this train almost 95% of the passengers were groups of rowdy white folk, talking in loud voices about cock. Honestly, when you are en route to a penis festival it is extremely difficult to refrain from constant cock-jokes. Well, it's certainly very hard (boom boom).<br /><br />We arrived, and had to hang around the station for a while (again) waiting for more people to show up, but we could see a crowd gathered at the end of the street and could hear excited voices, and then slowly a curious shape began to appear in the distance and move towards us.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeVHWoIn_AI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/ctztOTn6XDA/s1600-h/100_1172.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeVHWoIn_AI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/ctztOTn6XDA/s400/100_1172.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324740588491766786" border="0" /></a><br />Now, I don't know how well you will be able to see it with the picture this size, but you can probably make out a pink shape poking up above the heads of the crowd under the archway, roughly in the centre. This is the centrepiece of the penis festival parade.<br /><br />We crossed the road and moved closer, and realised that the giant pink wooden penis was not, in fact, the only article on display here and it was in fact second in line, behind a somewhat smaller, although nonetheless impressive, black lacquer offering carried in some kind of portable shrine.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeVIWdQfk_I/AAAAAAAAAMY/MU3nzhHoZEA/s1600-h/100_1174.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeVIWdQfk_I/AAAAAAAAAMY/MU3nzhHoZEA/s400/100_1174.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324741685083608050" border="0" /></a>I'm just going to post this video clip again, for those of you who missed it last time. I think it demonstrates the general theme of the event quite well<br />.<br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzVyEfoqIVFOxUFFQdu-p4Yl28u3Bss3msWeyeRZU-8uUSgoxl6GmYtNTWk7pzo61Y-3OGzac98Ce-3dr1ZsA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />As I so astutely point out there, the main giant penis appeared to be carried by a team of transvestites.<br /><br />The parade passed by where we stood, and we got to see the final float of the procession. This was the least visually impressive of the three principle penises, but it is the most religiously significant (yes, this is actually a religious festival, not a gay pride parade). Again there are slight difficulties with the photo's being reduce for blogger.com, but hopefully you can make out inside the little portable shrine there is a large wooden pillar with bits of paper tied to it, there is a little wooden gateway at the front and in the little wooden gateway, maybe 6-7inches and 3 inches across, is a small (relative to the two previous ones) iron penis. This object, in fact, is the centre of the festival and the parade, although it could easily go largely unnoticed.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeVNYFf0WQI/AAAAAAAAAMg/49XCAwNSves/s1600-h/100_1191.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeVNYFf0WQI/AAAAAAAAAMg/49XCAwNSves/s400/100_1191.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324747210623310082" border="0" /></a><br />You might be able to see it better in this video.<br /><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dz6RFhByzVlR8I2cIL4bFHE9O0aEa4zx3mC3PyiYBbMaM3a8dc1nIR_3Cgx5O0JatwtnnnB_N6p-dEghL9QUA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />Or possibly not.<br /><br />Incidentally, these wooden shrines are supposedly very heavy, so they periodically have to swap the teams of people carrying them. When this happens, they mark the transition with a bit of vigorous penis shaking.<br /><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyx34kYhGan05DB6oxrs1Dw_COYpRfNHxnk9OCB-obhXIGqSB91ihBCjdzZh8T5XhBIRoYvAh6X9OdhxyXSeA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />But anyway, this is the famous Sacred Iron Phallus which is enshrined at the Kanamara Shrine in Kawasaki. The legend is thus:<br /><br />Once upon a time (I'm not quite sure when), a young girl lived in village near Kawasaki. She was very beautiful, and many men wanted to take her hand and marry her. Eventually a suitable man was found, the marriage was arranged and they were wed. Unfortunately, she had a demon living inside her vagina which bit off his genitals on their wedding night. She remained beautiful, however, and another gentleman of the village also decided to try his luck, with the same eye-watering consequence.<br /><br />It was then that the local blacksmith hit upon a bright idea, and forged an iron penis for the girl. I needn't go into details, but basically it broke the demon's teeth and the demon died/ran away, and they all lived happily ever after.<br /><br />So, the Phallus was enshrined at Kanamara, and the shrine became famous as a place to pray for fertility, marriage, marital harmony and protection for children. It also became popular with prostitutes praying for protection from sexually transmitted diseases.<br /><br />So the parade went up the road, then at the top of the road it turned around and went back down the road. After toing and froing a few times over a few hours, it eventually made its way back to the Shrine from which it came. We got distracted by lunch, so missed its triumphant return to penis shrine, but on out route to the shrine we encountered some of the lovely 'ladies' who had been carrying the big pink willy.<br /><br />Now, at first glance I had assumed they were a group of local lads who had just dragged up a bit for the festival, but when we saw them close-up (some closer up than others, James), it turns out they all had boobs. Not padded bras or falsies, but actual boobs. So this means that they must either be a team of really unattractive broad-shouldered women who have no idea how to apply make-up, or they are genuine she-males/transsexuals. Very peculiar. Anyway, James obviously had to pose for photo with them all.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeVTqr1yJrI/AAAAAAAAAMo/KuDOc_KB5VE/s1600-h/100_1205.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeVTqr1yJrI/AAAAAAAAAMo/KuDOc_KB5VE/s400/100_1205.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324754127223400114" border="0" /></a><br />What gender are these... people? Answer on a postcard to:<br />Genghis Kong's Lair<br />MegaTokyo<br /><br />Anyway, eventually we got to the famous shrine for more penis-themed fun. Apart from penis-shaped lollies for licking, there were also a pair of giant wooden penises you could mount, presumably for fertility or luck or something, it was never never really explained. Much jollity when me and James leapt on one of these things - me posing at the base of the penis, as if 'twere my own, and he bending over at the other end - but the stranger sight, for me at least, was a Japanese man who mounted the giant cock with his tiny infant daughter. I just didn't quite get it - was he praying for fertility for his 3-year-old? Seems a little premature to me; give the poor girl a chance!<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeWcZTn24GI/AAAAAAAAAMw/yB5tfckeVDk/s1600-h/100_1185.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeWcZTn24GI/AAAAAAAAAMw/yB5tfckeVDk/s400/100_1185.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324834093013590114" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeWcZhzbr2I/AAAAAAAAAM4/DX4IDYznimQ/s1600-h/100_1211.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeWcZhzbr2I/AAAAAAAAAM4/DX4IDYznimQ/s400/100_1211.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324834096820236130" border="0" /></a><br />Anyway, there were stalls selling freaky penis shaped items and a man handing out some kind of freaky sake. Normal sake is clear and smooth, but this sake was sort of thick and white and... gloopy... It was only after I had had a cup of it that someone pointed out it's slightly worrying similarity to semen. I mean, it didn't taste particularly spunky. At least, it didn't taste like what I would imagine jizz to taste like, but then, maybe I'm wrong - maybe jizz does taste like sake. Who knows. Perhaps I just had a cup of priestly man-milk.<br /><br />Oh well. Once a philosopher, twice a pervert, as I like to say.<br /><br />Here are some of those strange penis shaped items. I mean, I could deal with a large wooden sculpture of a gnarled penis with a bright red bell-end, that wouldn't be too bad, but for some reason half of these penis seem to have vaginas in them, and that's just disturbing and off-putting. I guess the thinking goes something along the lines of 'double the genitalia in your statuette, double the magical fertility ju-ju'.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeWdc0u4PaI/AAAAAAAAANA/sYArVj1YU78/s1600-h/100_1212.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeWdc0u4PaI/AAAAAAAAANA/sYArVj1YU78/s400/100_1212.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324835252952645026" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeWddC7Bg0I/AAAAAAAAANI/pxcZe3vpEPk/s1600-h/100_1214.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeWddC7Bg0I/AAAAAAAAANI/pxcZe3vpEPk/s400/100_1214.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324835256761680706" border="0" /></a>And the was about the long and the short of it. That was the famous penis festival. I presume that I am now many times more fertile than i was before this ritual took place. In fact, I'm pretty sure I impregnated at least four women just by looking at them on the train, that's how fertile I am now.<br /><br />I hope that was worth the wait - sorry it took me a week and a half to get round to writing this - there just somehow never seem to be enough hours in the day for me to get everything done that I would like to. I had to skip going to the gym today in order to write this.<br /><br />Since I went to the penis festival I have mostly started school. Update on that, as well as my tomatoes (very exciting) to follow shortly. I've got no class tomorrow, so I may get round to it then, but we'll see. You know how long it takes me to get anything done.<br /><br />So that's it from me this time, folks.<br /><br />Comments and donations (cash, cheque, bank transfer and PayPal all gleefully accepted) are welcome as always!<br /><br />This would seem most appropriate. Enjoy!<br /><object width="500" height="405"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/p9PiqCeLEmM&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b&border=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/p9PiqCeLEmM&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="405"></embed></object><br /><br />Oh! Incidentally, when we finally got to the penis shrine there were quite a few cherry trees there, they were in bloom, and I was drinking a beer. I'm counting that as a successful hanami party! Epic win!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeWgxYPd0WI/AAAAAAAAANQ/OtUod8sHx1M/s1600-h/100_1216.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SeWgxYPd0WI/AAAAAAAAANQ/OtUod8sHx1M/s400/100_1216.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324838904616833378" border="0" /></a><br />Lots of love,<br />Genghis Dong xx<br /><br />or should that be Genghis Schlong?Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-15418222528209503482009-04-05T06:47:00.000-07:002009-04-05T07:43:15.102-07:00Genghis Kong vs. X-Box LiveOkay, so to quickly finish off the episode of my family coming to visit in as short a time as possible: We had a really cool time in Tokyo, then Oli went back to England. Mum and Dad and I then went off on another jaunt round central and western Honshu following a similar, although slightly different, general itinerary to mine and Oli's trip - Kyoto first, then Nara, Himeji and finally Hiroshima. Even though I had just been around most of those places with Oli, we stayed in different areas and went to see different sights so I still had a really interesting time. Of course, travelling with the parents meant that I was also eating extremely well and staying in relative luxury, which was wonderful (especially in comparison to the rather small and damp apartment/bedroom/hovel I live in in Tokyo).<br /><br />3 Highlights of my trip with Mum and Dad:<br /><br />1. The Dattan Matsuri festival in Nara.<br />By pure coincidence we arrived in Nara on the last day of a 2-week long festival, which ends with a dramatic closing ceremony. We were, unfortunately, clueless to this fact and very nearly missed the whole thing, except that when we asked the Ryokan staff to serve us our dinner at 7pm they turned to one another and muttered something about "They're not going to the festival? Are you sure? They're really not going up to the temple?". Eventually we discovered that there was this event going so we rescheduled dinner for earlier and after eating we all but ran the 2 miles or so uphill through the park to try and catch the festival. Even so, we arrived just as it was ending, and only caught the last few moments of what must have been a spectacular sight.<br /><br />The ceremony consists of the monks lighting on fire several enormous 8-metre long torches and then running circuits around the temple veranda with them while crowd of pilgrims/tourists (the line between these two categories is extremely blurred) is gathered below. It is a festival for the protection of children, I think, but anyway it is considered lucky if the falling cinders land on your child's head, so the onlooking worshippers actively try to catch falling fire using their children's faces.<br /><br />I'm afraid I didn't get any good photos of it myself, but here's a stock photo from the internet to give you an idea of what it looked like:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://files.lococom.jp/file1/2008/2/24/81/omizutori.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 485px; height: 331px;" src="http://files.lococom.jp/file1/2008/2/24/81/omizutori.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The next day we went back up to the temple and collected little bits of burnt cedar from the torches for luck - I've got one attached to my phone!<br /><br />2. Himeji Castle.<br />As I think I mentioned in my last post, Himeji is just an awesome sight. Really, truly beautiful and magnificent and breathtaking. What really makes the visit though is the volunteer guides that show you around. Without them it would be impressive, and a great photo opportunity, but the guides show you the intricacies of the design and the ingenious strategic devices built into the castle layout to deter intruders, and all kinds of extra little background information. That said, I noticed that the two different guides I had gave us entirely different tours filled with entirely different little nuggets of wisdom and tidbits of information, some of which directly contradicted each other or even directly contradicted the information plaques around the castle!<br /><br />So a fascinating tour, but not neccessarily a strictly factual one.<br /><br />Incidentally, anyone hoping to visit Himeji in the near future: do it this summer, because after this year it is undergoing massive restoration work to the main keep and will be closed and under scaffolding for 5 years. You have been warned.<br /><br />3. Hiroshima<br />Hiroshima was pretty amazing, but for completely different reasons. Despite all the hilariously tasteless jokes I might make about the bombs (I was going to change my name on facebook to Hereward 'A-Bomb' Feldwick before I went, ho ho), actually visiting Hiroshima was a deeply affecting and sobering experience. We actually spoke to some A-Bomb survivors about their experiences which was rather grim and harrowing, and it is shoking to think how recent and how utterly devastating it was. Seeing the A-Bomb dome and feeling first-hand the blast marks where the heat waves from the bomb had caused gravestones to shatter really brought it home and made it seem much more real.<br /><br />Top bit in Hiroshima? Seeing groups of smiling American tourists posing for photos in front of the Cenotaph - the mass grave for all the unrecorded victims of the Hiroshima bombing. Something about that scene just struck me as remarkably tasteless. I mean, in their defense I think it was their Japanese friend actually taking the picture for them, so it seems to be a collective obliviousness to possible deeper layers of meaning shared by Japanese and Americans alike. I think to most people it's just another tourist spot to tick off the list and get the photo.<br /><br />Again, my photography around Hiroshima wasn't really up to much, so here is someone else's photo of the A-Bomb Dome for you to consider:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/89/Hiroshima_A-Bomb_Dome.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 687px; height: 571px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/89/Hiroshima_A-Bomb_Dome.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />So anyway, after a few more days in Tokyo my parents went back home to England and I was left to get on with the ordinary humdrum everyday business of living in Tokyo. You know: wake up, wash, eat, go to the gym, eat, look at facebook, eat, have some beers, watch the Daily Show, eat, sleep and repeat ad nauseam. The most exciting developments in my life over the last couple of weeks have been my first tentative steps into horticulture and my purchase of a Super Nintendo.<br /><br />I'm growing some tomato and chili plants from seed. It's all terribly exciting. They're living in eggboxes on my windowsill at the moment, soaking up as much sun as their little tiny leaves are able. I'm optimistic that I might start getting actual fruits from them before I have to go back to England, which will be a great thrill! Okay, this may not sound exciting to most of you, but considering I've been middle aged since the age of about 13 the idea of growing my own vegetables is honestly the very peak of excitement for me. Once I've got my own house and garden I'm going to grow all manner of vegetables and I'm going to keep half a dozen ducks for eggs and meat. I've already got it all planned out: house, wife, 4 kids, vegetable patch, ducks, lots of cats, maybe even a dog.<br /><br />I also bought a Super Nintendo, and it is honestly the very finest purchase I have made for a very long time. In my opinion, it is immeasurably more fun than any of the new hi-tech machines that everyone raves about these days. I mean, so what if you've got the most advanced first-person shooter or the most realistic driving simulator in the world - I've got Super Metroid and F-Zero, and they're awesome! You can take your X-Box Live and shove it up your arse.<br /><br />Right - I'd better go to bed. Once again I didn't manage to write what i had been planning to. What I had meant to write about was the enormous penis festival I went to today, but I got all caught up recapping events up to that moment. I have my placement test for Semester 2 tomorrow morning and I don't want to stay up too late writing, so that tale will have to wait for another time - hopefully not long.<br /><br />Here's a little teaser for you:<br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwmW4ju131I0PwkysCq2NJ6cl7vauEyBTmYh0ioiGq8jaMW01-cbFsYXNCMF4_JBV0zbQKoJG-YdB8du3Mfeg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />So I'll leave you with that.<br /><br />Wish me luck on my exam!Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-60186808084916492362009-03-27T01:11:00.000-07:002009-03-27T04:27:42.904-07:00Genghis Kong vs. Venereal DiseasesRight - I'm back.<br /><br />I have eaten my breakfast, washed and dressed, been to the gym and eaten my lunch, and I don't have to go out again for 3 hours so I should be able to lay down a pretty decent amount of bloggery.<br /><br />*CHEERING AND APPLAUSE*<br /><br />Thank you, thank you, you're too kind. Settle down now, settle down.<br /><br />It has been a terrifically long time since my last proper blog update. Part of the reason for this long hiatus was the coming of my family to visit (well, three quarters of my family). At the end of February my elder brother Oli came to Tokyo and I showed him around a bit, then we went off for a week or so tour of Kansai (Kyoto, Nara and Osaka). After that, my parents arrived too, and once Oli had gone home me and the parents went off on another merry jaunt around Western Japan (Kyoto, Nara, Himeji and Hiroshima). So I have been busy touring and travelling and translating, sightseeing and seasides and sausages, eating and eating and eating.<br /><br />I really enjoyed having my family here to visit. It was nice to share a bit of my peculiar life here with them, and I was very grateful to spend some time with British people. That might sound like a peculiar statement, but honestly the endless intercultural interaction just gets tiring. I mean, language barriers aside, even conversations with Americans are fraught with little differences in meaning or bits of slang or references to celebrities or TV shows which just don't translate (pissed, fanny, paracetamol, pulling pants, bum, Kate Bush, Pat Sharpe, The Chuckle Brothers are just a few of the myriad conversational tools which cannot be used with Americans).<br /><br />But anyway - really great time with my family. We travelled around Japan a lot, but I don't think I can write out a complete blow-by-blow account of everything we did on each day over a space of about 5 weeks. There isn't enough ink in my pen, nor enough hours in the day nor enough coffee in the world for that. So instead I'm afraid you will have to content yourselves with the (very) edited highlights.<br /><br />After briefly touring all of Tokyo's main sights, me and my brother departed for Kyoto (by Shinkansen, of course). In Kyoto we stayed in a really nice Ryokan (that's a traditional Japanese inn - sleeping on futons on the floor, Japanese bath, green tea, ninjas hiding in the walls kind of thing) which gave us a very Japanese feeling. For the tourist, Kyoto is all about temples, and we saw a great many of them. It was all terribly impressive and some them were extraordinarily beautiful.<br /><br />Here is a nice photo of my bother looking delightful (the wrong way) at Kinkakuji - the Temple of the Golden Pavilion.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/ScyUKRp0DDI/AAAAAAAAALw/CTHjaIjtd2s/s1600-h/100_0991.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/ScyUKRp0DDI/AAAAAAAAALw/CTHjaIjtd2s/s400/100_0991.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5317788164276096050" border="0" /></a>From Kyoto we went on to Osaka. Osaka is a very cool, funky, hip, interesting city with loads of atmosphere and nightlife and good places to eat and drink, but not a great deal by way of tourist attractions. Osaka castle is a ferro-concrete reconstruction built about 45 years ago, and apart from there really is only the Aquarium (which was quite good - it's got Manta Rays and Whale Sharks) and Universal Studios Japan (which is apparently really good, but costs about £60 or something so we didn't go). However, from Osaka you can make a day trip to Himeji castle, which is the best-preserved and most beautiful mediaeval castle in of Japan. Here it is:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/ScyUKpeJwYI/AAAAAAAAAL4/3zcFwRKHaiA/s1600-h/100_0994.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/ScyUKpeJwYI/AAAAAAAAAL4/3zcFwRKHaiA/s400/100_0994.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5317788170669638018" border="0" /></a>I'm sorry the waether didn't co-operate to provide a more glorious spectacle.<br /><br />The final stop on our tour of Kansai was Nara. Nara the town has little to speak of to attract tourists, but Nara park and the temples contained within are well worth a visit. Nara's principle attractions are large heards of wild deer which wander freely though the park stealing your ice creams and menacing children<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/ScyUK-frMSI/AAAAAAAAAMA/Z6tHoi1yEKs/s1600-h/100_1021.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/ScyUK-frMSI/AAAAAAAAAMA/Z6tHoi1yEKs/s400/100_1021.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5317788176313168162" border="0" /></a>(this photo doesn't capture them at their most menacing), and the famous Todaiji Temple, which is home to the largest wooden structure on earth - the Daibutsukan, or Great Buddha hall. Here is a lovely photo.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/ScyULMNxTrI/AAAAAAAAAMI/LvMwnv-NJn0/s1600-h/100_1031.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/ScyULMNxTrI/AAAAAAAAAMI/LvMwnv-NJn0/s400/100_1031.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5317788179996167858" border="0" /></a><br />I hope that is sufficiently impressive. It is very large. I don't know how clearly you can make it out, but each of the doors is about 4-6 times as tall as people (depending on the tallness of the people), so it really is very big. It's strange though - as you approach, you sort of think that's it's just a bit big, but not very far away. Gradually you start to realise that actually it's actually absolutely crazy big and just a bloody long way away. Curious tricks of perspective.<br /><br />The Great Buddha Hall is, unsurprisingly, home to the Great Buddha - a twelve metre tall bronze statue of one of those old Buddha types, first cast in the seventh century or something ridiculously ages ago and still there. the head has had to be replaced a few times because it keeps falling off in earthquakes, but I believe the body is actually the original bronze casting from a million years ago. Pretty impressive. Didn't photograph so well.<br /><br />So that was our tour. Apart from the nights in the Ryokan we were doing it on the cheapy cheap staying in hostels and things which was actually pretty fun. It was kind of like doing the gap year travelling thing again with the drinking with strangers and sleeping in crappy beds. In Osaka we met two Indian-Australian girls whose actual names I can't remember - Vandrapradeep and Dendradev or something equivalent - but they introduced themselves as 'V' and 'D', in that order. Me and Oli (both quite drunk) simultaneously burst out in fits of laughter, to be met with confused and icy stares, because apparently they had never noticed that 'V' and 'D' spell VD - venereal disease. Ho ho ho. I think we made some friends for life just there.<br /><br />Anyway, urinary infections aside, really nice time.<br /><br />The same day Oli and I got back to Tokyo, our parents arrived in Tokyo from England. There was nearly a week's overlap when 4/5 of the family were rocking out in Tokyo together (mad props to my little brother Greg who couldn't make it. And Happy Birthday for a month ago. Sorry I'm a bit late with that - Oli turned up and got me all confused and distracted). On my Mum's Birthday we went to say a Kabuki play which was fascinating, but very slow-paced and incredibly long. We gave up after the second act, which was after about two and three-quarter hours, because it was getting late and we wanted to find some dinner. The Kabuki also provided great entertainment for the entire remainder of the holiday, thanks to my Dad's Kabuki impersonations. He's really quite good at it - you should ask him to do it for you sometime. After Kabuki and dinner we went for Karaoke - can you imagine a more Japanesey way to spend a Birthday?<br /><br />This blog will be continued tomorrow. I'm off for an all-night karaoke disaster. Don't expect much from me tomorrow. I'll speak to you all again soon.Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-66503881248763941882009-03-25T21:02:00.000-07:002009-03-26T18:29:28.429-07:00Genghis Kong vs. Red Wine and BreakfastGood morning Blogosphere!<br /><br />As I woke up this morning and began clearing away the debris left over from last night's excesses - baguette crumbs, cheese wrappings, empty wine bottle - it occurred to me that that might make a nice opening line for a new post on my blog. So I decided to start writing it.<br /><br />So that is how you find me now - naked except for a towel (it's not a mirt - there's no belt), with bits of baguette getting stuck between my toes and an absolutely kicking headache from the bottle of wine I drank last night. Chilean Red: Concha y Toro Carmenere. A reasonable drop for the price, but lacking in body. Makes up for it in morning-after skullfuck.<br /><br />So I'm slurping some slightly peculiar coffee (it claims to be kirimanjaro brend), thinking about breakfast and hoping for my headache to go away.<br /><br />There are a few impediments to my breakfast (and therefore my happiness) this morning. Number 1 I didn't wash up yesterday, so before I can scramble eggs I need to clean my pan and my plate, and Number 2 the only toaster I have access to is at the end of my corridor, so in order to make the toast onto which I hope to put my scrambled eggs, I have to get dressed. I suppose, technically, I could go make the toast wearing only a towel, but something tells me that might not be a good idea.<br /><br />Actually, sod this, I'm hungry. I'll return once breakfast has been dealt with.Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-21711367103860229172009-02-17T08:31:00.000-08:002009-02-17T09:06:13.954-08:00Genghis Kong Vs. The 4 Month ItchAs many of you will know, I gave up smoking roughly four months ago.<br /><br />I found quitting really surprisingly easy - I used no patches, gum or any other kind of nicotine accessory and just stopped smoking overnight. I made no grand running-my-fags-under-the-tap last gesture, I didn't tell any of my friends "whatever you do, don't let me smoke", and in general didn't make a big deal of it. And it was easy. I never really liked smoking in the first place - it was just a habit. Just something I did. Friends of mine would go on about how they loved smoking and could never quit. I never loved smoking, and always thought quitting - when I finally felt like I should - would be easy.<br /><br />And it was.<br /><br />But I hadn't counted on the 4 month itch. I should have prepared for it though - the one previous time that i stopped smoking I stopped for just over 3 months without any difficulty. Then after 3-4 months I made the (seemingly) logical (at the time) decision that actually I preferred being a smoker to being a non-smoker, so I started smoking again.<br /><br />And I smoked very happily. I smoked heavily and contentedly through first year. I was good at smoking - people even complimented me on how nice my bedroom smelt, even though i was smoking around 15-20 a day in my room.<br /><br />I was very happy to continue to smoke through second year as well. Ours was party house, the floor was covered in cigarette butts, I'm sure several of them were mine. But of all the silly things I did during second year, smoking never really bothered me.<br /><br />In fact, although I never really relished smoking and always hoped to quit, I specifically planned not to quit smoking while I was in Japan. This is why:<br /><ol><li>Fags are amazingly cheap here. 300yen for a pack of Lucky's (just about £2), and they are nowhere near the cheapest</li><li>You are allowed to smoke indoors. In fact, you are actively discouraged from smoking outdoors, so bars, clubs and restaurants are considered the most acceptable places to have a smoke</li></ol>So it would seem unfair to expect me to stop smoking in the face of these two very compelling reasons not to quit.<br /><br />But quit I did. And it was easy.<br /><br />Incidentally, one of the reasons I stopped smoking was that I massively fancied an Australian girl, who had a very low opinion of smoking.<br /><br />But now - just as it did the last time I stopped smoking for several months - the 4 month itch has kicked in. And it has kicked in hard.<br /><br />No one ever tells you that quitting smoking is not the hard part - it's surviving the 4 month itch.<br /><br />Right now every part of my subconscious is just saying "go on - have a fag", "just roll one up and have one" (for the record I never threw out my baccy - I reckon a real man can quit smoking with a full pack of baccy, skins and filters in his drawer and doesn't need to wash them down the sink in order to quit), and until just recently it's not been a problem at all. I have genuinely had no desire to smoke whatsoever.<br /><br />Except since about 3 weeks ago, since when the desire to smoke has been growing and growing, and my reasons for not smoking have been becoming blurrier and blurrier. I know one thing for certain: my main number 1 reason for stopping smoking has just gone back to Australia, so why am I continuing to punish myself?<br /><br />Because once you pass about 3 months of not smoking, your thinking begins to change: it goes from "Wow - I've been 3 months without smoking" to "good god - I've been 3 months without smoking - how long do I have to go before I can smoke again?". I know it sounds retarded, especially having not smoked for 4 months, but right now I can't imagine my future life without smoking. In my head I'm still a smoker, almost as much as I reckon I'll always be a drinker (barring unforeseen circumstances).<br /><br />I want to smoke, but I don't want to fail at not smoking, although I still consider myself a smoker, even though I don't smoke any more and don't really intend to ever again...<br /><br />And that's my stance: I'ma smoker who doesn't smoke, and proabably never will.<br /><br />But seriously - how long do I have to go without a cigarette to prove that I'm not addicted so I can have a smoke again without feeling bad about it?<br /><br />I don't know, but I'm at least 95% sure that I'm not about to crack and start smoking again, even though I really, really want to more than anything right now and I have all the makings of a fag in my desk drawer. I'm not going to. I don't know why, but I think I might be stronger than that.<br /><br />Peace.<br /><br />Can I have a fag please?<br /><br />Genghis.Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-30341615017297561472009-02-10T22:13:00.000-08:002009-02-10T22:27:02.083-08:00Genghis Kong vs. CoffeeHullo,<br /><br />Brief hangover grumble time.<br /><br />I did my shopping at about 6am this morning, having been to all-night all-you-can-drink karaoke and I woke up this afternoon to discover that I had bought the wrong bloody coffee. By "wrong" I mean the kind of coffee that requires some kind of coffee apparatus to convert it from powder format into a stimulating morning beverage. I do not own any manner of coffee apparatus, and so my morning beverage is proving significantly less than stimulating.<br /><br />I also have a headache and I'm extremely hungry.<br /><br />Yesterday I learnt that dancing vigorously to your own iPod in the street is considered strange behaviour in Japan. To be honest, it would be considered strange just about anywhere, I think, but it somehow seemed appropriate at the time. Dubstep just has that effect on me (when I'm drunk).<br /><br />And one last thing - when am I allowed to start smoking again? It's been 4 months since I quit, so I've succeeded, right? I've definitely, definitely quit, proven that I'm not addicted and that I'm a better man and don't need to smoke etc etc, so can I smoke again now please? Grumble grumble I'm gonna keep on not-smoking, of course, but just recently cigarettes have started looking and smelling really appealing. Not to mention fucking cool.<br /><br />I mean, it's just not fair! Who would be so cruel as to make something so detrimental to your health so fucking cool-looking? If smokers didn't look so awesome all the time I would not be having this crisis of will, I'm sure.<br /><br />Anyway I'm hungry, so I'm going to count how much cash I have left from last night, weep a little, and then decide whether to go out for noodles or stay in and eat pasta based on which remnants of a 10,000yen note I find in my pocket.<br /><br />Loves,<br />Genghis Kang<br /><br />PS. Short post, written with a hangover about nothing in particular. Would you, Dear Reader, prefer lots of little posts like this one, or continue with the weekly/fortnightly/monthly epics? Please let me know.Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-46701800918401855912009-02-09T04:40:00.000-08:002009-02-09T08:36:13.858-08:00Genghis Kong vs. The PistesWell, Ladies and Gentleman, here I am.<br /><br />Yes: here indeed, and certainly in no other place, am I. Returned from my great adventure up a mountain and safely sequestered back in my little apartment, I am finally getting round to penning another (long overdue) blog update.<br /><br />The month since my last post has been characterised by brief but frenzied industry, followed by an extended period of inactivity and finally 3 days of sport- and action-filled adventure and excitement. All of this has, of course, been peppered with those little ups and downs, daily victories and hardships, small pleasures and tedious chores that we call (without a hint of irony) life.<br /><br />When last I wrote, I believe I had just arrived back in Tokyo after Christmas (it seems an awfully long time ago now). Not long after that, I started my final exams, such as they were. I had 5 exams, one in each of the 5 main disciplines of language study: grammar, writing, reading, listening and speaking. It turned out that I was worrying for nothing with regards to these exams. Although most of them were scheduled for an hour and a half, not one of them took me more than 40 minutes. They were, to be honest, almost disappointingly easy and have left me with nothing but contempt for the Japanese education system. Well, perhaps i should wait and see what my results are before I declare the exams a walkover. I'm sure there's still time for me to come up short.<br /><br />So my last exam was on January 15th, and I have been on Spring Break since then. My Spring Break, in fact, lasts until roughly April making a total of about 10 weeks with literally nothing to do. Woohoo! Am I not just the luckiest/laziest man you know right now?<br /><br />Well, possibly not quite as lucky as all that. I don't mean to whinge, but having absolutely nothing to do can get rather boring (especially when you live on your own), and doing anything fun in Tokyo has a habit of ending up being incredibly expensive (£40-50 for a night at the pub, £80-150 for a night clubbing, £15 for a bowl of noodles and couple of beers). Two obvious remedies for my predicament of having nothing to do would be to study a lot or to get a job (which would also help with the costliness issue), but so far I've not quite managed either of these. What I have been doing to keep myself busy, which is at least somewhat productive, is going to the gym. Me and my mate Kaleb have been going down the Uni gym roughly every day since term ended. Factoring in Sundays, hangovers and laziness, 'almost every day' still translates to fairly impressive 4-5 times a week. It turns out that working out can be quite fun, especially when the alternative is sitting in your room on your own watching TV or Youtube.<br /><br />We take it none too seriously though - none of that shouting encouragement at each other in a testosterone-fuelled homoerotic rage:<br />"Come on, buddy! Push those goddamn weights! Work those legs! You can do it! Gimme 3 more! I wanna see 3 more! Go on dude! We fuckin' OWN this fuckin' gym! Grrrrr! Arrrgh!"<br />You know the kind of stuff.<br />No, our motivational gym talk goes more along the lines of<br />"Ugh. The gym's full of Japanese people. And they're all much stronger than me. This is shit. Why do we even come here? Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? Can I go home now? Wait - it's totally happy hour at the pub. Let's go."<br /><br />So that is pretty much how I have spent my first few weeks of Spring Break: going to the gym, getting some food every now and then, and getting drunk from time to time (trying to cut down on that one though). I went to see Richie Hawtin at Womb with my buddy Scott (from Sheffield) about 2 Saturdays ago. Richie Hawtin was quality, but as is always the case when me and Scott get together the evening as a whole was a fairly disgraceful exhibition in excess and debauchery, ending, as usual, with the two of us on different trains going in opposite directions around noon the next day.<br /><br />I do have to give Scott some kudos, however, as he had been out at bars in Tokyo the previous night without going home or sleeping at all in between. He and I had made plans (while drunk) to go out that night about a week earlier, and I had mostly forgotten about them. I was reminded of them, however, when I received a text from Scott at 8.30 in the morning saying "It's all gone tits up. I'm in tears. Fancy a pint?"<br /><br />Unfortunately I was in no fit state (being fairly hungover myself) to respond to or attempt to cope with an uncontrollably drunk and sleep-deprive Scott at that time of the morning, so I returned blearily to sleep. I was awakened again around 11.30 by a phone from Scott who told me he was really drunk and was somewhere in Shibuya, he thinks. Shibuya is roughly where he should have been - it's where he had been out the day before and it's not far from where I live, so it made sense. I told him I'd need a couple of hours to wash, dress and feed myself, and he said he'd call me back later.<br /><br />I called him around 1 to make sure he was still awake and still planning to go out that night, and he told me he was really drunk and somewhere in Akihabara. Akihabara is about a 40 minute train ride away from Shibuya. I asked him why he had gone to Akihabara and he told me he had walked there. I'm pretty sure it would take any ordinary person about 5 hours to make that walk, so Scott was either mistaken or has acquired some superhuman sprinting powers which can only be activated when he's so drunk he can't see.<br /><br />He called me again half an hour later to let me know he was really drunk, had no idea where he was, had been walking for ages but couldn't find a train station.<br /><br />We eventually met up around 3, and went for pizza all-you-can-eat washed down with a jug of beer. It was all downhill from there. We spent the next 9 hours or so staggering around Ikebukuro getting increasingly drunk (mostly at the English pubs), before heading to Shibuya to find the club. Although, of course, before we could try and find the cllub we decided to grab a couple of extra-strong chu-hai (basically 500ml cans of 8% Bacardi Breezer) each and drink them near the station. I persuaded Scott to pose for a photo with the inexplicably famous statue of Hachiko at Shibuya station .<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZAvYDAx8VI/AAAAAAAAAK4/yZS-RQNDBq0/s1600-h/100_0879.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZAvYDAx8VI/AAAAAAAAAK4/yZS-RQNDBq0/s320/100_0879.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300788851587019090" border="0" /></a>I believe my directions for this pose were "Look awesome. No, more awesome. No, no, more awesome!"<br /><br />I'm very pleased with how it came out.<br /><br />So, we wandered around for a while trying to decipher a very unhelpful map with our booze-befuddled brains, until we eventually found some young and trendy looking Japanese who we thought would probably know the whereabouts of a young and trendy nightspot such as Womb. They kindly led us there, and we both realised that had no money, so while they went in we quietly ditched them and went off to find a cash hole (and another Strong Chu-Hai while we were at it).<br /><br />We eventually made it inside, at which point I realised that I had actually been there before on another hideous drunken adventure. Womb is very like Tokyo: massive, so crowded you can barely move, really fucking expensive and funny-smelling, but unlike the rest of Tokyo the sound system is really good and Richie Hawtin was playing.<br /><br />I think me and Scott must have lost contact within about 15 minutes of getting inside. It was too massively crowded and we were too drunk and disoriented to ever find anything in there, so we just sort of went off about our respective businesses. My business mostly consisted of buying a can of beer at the bar, squeezing my way very very slowly towards the front, dancing for about 3 minutes when I finally made it somewhere near the front, then realising I had run out of beer and so starting my epic journey back to the bar again. I would imagine that this whole process took me about an hour, and I probably managed to complete it 4 times or so, which would take me up to about 5 am when the club kicked out.<br /><br />I got home in one go this time, without taking a wrong turn anywhere. I picked up an enormous tray of sushi and another can of beer on my way back to my house (about 7am by this time) and sat about stuffing my face and wondering where Scott had got to. Eventually I gave up and went to bed. When I woke up around 3 and checked my phone I noticed I had a couple of missed calls from him and 2 messages. The first, sent around 6am, said something like "Nah. what the fuck? I think i'm being robbed up." The second, around 11am, said just "lol. i think i'm on a train".<br /><br />So, by our usual standards, a completely successful night out in Tokyo. Well done me and Scott - we really can be a truly disgraceful pair of human beings when we put our minds to it.<br /><br />This whole debauched spectacle cost me around £140. Did I mention Tokyo's really expensive and I need a job? I can't wait to get back to England where you can do the same thing for about £50 and still have change for a cab home.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZA0bURIlZI/AAAAAAAAALA/cxEx8UjzgY8/s1600-h/100_0876.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZA0bURIlZI/AAAAAAAAALA/cxEx8UjzgY8/s320/100_0876.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300794405316760978" border="0" /></a>There was also a little farewell party for the people who have been living in my dorm but staying for only 1 semester. Scott (a different one - this one is Hawai'ian and lives in my dorm) cooked loads of food and a bunch of people came round and it was all fun and nice.<br /><br />Sadly, I didn't really realise quite how immediate of a farewell party it was, so I didn't do any proper saying of goodbyes to anyone, and then they all left. Of all the people in this photo I think only 2 of them are still in my dorm. Most of the others disappeared like thieves in the night without even knocking on my door to say 'so long'. The shits.<br /><br />Oh well. It's not like I gave a crap about most of them anyway.<br /><br />So that general pattern of things brings me all the way to Wednesday, which is when I left for my totally awesome and exciting snowboarding trip.<br /><br />Our bus departed at the miserable hour of 11.30pm from Ikebukuro station and spent about 7 hours chuntering out of Tokyo and then meandering nauseatingly up winding mountain roads to the resort. The resort, bearing the embarrassingly gay name of Cupid's Valley, is located in the mountains in the middle of Japan, Northwest of Tokyo in Niigata Prefecture. The trip started in classic Japanese style with us arriving 2 hours before the ski rental shop opened, giving us plenty of time to sit around doing nothing and getting grumpy. This is a common feature of any event organised with or by Japanese people - I know, they are the most punctual people in the world, but for someone reason they seem to schedule in extra time for standing around waiting for things and then walking incredibly slowly from place to place and taking half an hour to make simple decisions.<br /><br />Eventually we all managed to find kit which more-or-less fit, work out how to put it all on and then find our way to the mountain to slide.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZA4JCgDMyI/AAAAAAAAALI/k0Zq16OsNoU/s1600-h/100_0908.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZA4JCgDMyI/AAAAAAAAALI/k0Zq16OsNoU/s400/100_0908.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300798489356350242" border="0" /></a>Here's a view from the bottom of the mountain up the slope. Now, seeing as 4 out of 5 of our little group had never snowboarded before, this little slope looked a little intimidating. It seemed fairly steep, fairly high, and rather full of people going fairly fast. So, seeing as this was our first time, we decided to take the Gondola up to the "Beginner's Course". This turned out to be one of the most misleading names for a ski route I can possibly imagine.<br /><br />25 minutes later, we reached the top of the Gondola, several miles away from the resort, many hundreds of metres higher up the mountain, with absolutely no idea how to get down again. The course was genuinely several miles long. I will concede that there were several quite flat sections to it, but there were also very steep sections, lots of very narrow and twisty sections, and sheer drops down the mountain on either side of the piste. Progress was slow.<br /><br />Did I mention that most of us had never snowboarded before?<br /><br />Well, my snowboarding experience started exactly as I had expected: I sucked. I was utterly, utterly incapable of even standing up from the floor, let alone staying stood up as I careered wildly into snowbanks. Fortunately Kaleb, who is pretty good at snowboarding, was extremely patient with all of us. Gradually everyone else started to get the hang of it, at least a little, but I was still sitting on the floor completely baffled as to how to stand up on the damn thing. It sounds retarded, but I genuinely couldn't stand up. I don't know whether my board was the wrong size, or my knees don't work properly or I'm just too heavy, too weak or too useless, but every time I moved my weight forward over the board the damn thing would just slide away from me and I would fall on my arse again. I fell on my arse a lot.<br /><br />Eventually I worked out the technique of rolling over onto to my belly like a retarded walrus stuck upside-down on an iceflow (not very easy with a 5' long plank of plastic strapped to your feet) and then getting up onto my knees and hoppin up onto my feet. By this point we had been on the mountain about an hour and a half and I had progessed about 500 yards (some of that on foot, some on my arse, very little on my snowboard).<br /><br />Armed with my new (if inelegant) technique for standing up, I was able to actually stay on my board just long enough to go a bit fast and then fall over hard. Standing up by rolling over and then geting up on your knees may be easier for ungainly men such as myself, but it has the added complication that you always stand up facing up the hill, sliding backwards, so before you can even go anywhere you have to turn around backwards. This caused me some significant hardships early on, considering I couldn't even go in a straight line facing forward (although actually, going straight is one of the hardest and most terrifying things to do, because going straight you go incredibly fast. If you can go sideways then you go nice and slowly all the way).<br /><br />However, gradually I began to get the hang of it. First, I worked out turning round and falling over. Then turning round, going down the hill a bit and falling over. Then turning around, going across the hill a bit, turning round again and falling over. Eventually I had my technique pretty well sussed - stand up, turn around, go across the hill, turn around, go back across the hill, turn around and so on and so on until (eventually) you reach the bottom of the hill.<br /><br />Our first run down the hill took 3 hours. While I will say that "Beginner's Course" is an unforgivable misnomer for that course, I have to admit that had it been a shorter course I probably would have given up after about an hour and gone in to find a bar, but because I had no choice but to continue I was forced to find some way to get on my damn snowboard, stay on my damn snowboard and get the damn snowboard down the damn mountain with me still on it.<br /><br />After completing this gruelling initiation into snowboarding I had to call it a day. My calves were in excrutiating pain where I had had my boots fastened too tight, my lower back was burning from where i had falling hard in some very packed snow and got a friction burn of some kind, and my thigh muscles were aching from going so slowly down the hill, braking all the way (going fast takes no effort but is terrifying and difficult; going slowly is safe and easy, but incredibly hard work for the legs).<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZA-Wn8X_nI/AAAAAAAAALQ/7MuA5rz5ztA/s1600-h/100_0915.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZA-Wn8X_nI/AAAAAAAAALQ/7MuA5rz5ztA/s320/100_0915.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300805319815331442" border="0" /></a> It was my boots being too tight on the first day which caused this quite impressive damage to my leg. It's just a collection of funky bruises, to be honest, although it stained my socks red so it must have broken the skin somehow and the shapes of the bruises are quite interesting. It almost looks like a bit of a St. George's Cross or something.<br /><br />That night I went to the local Onsen - natural hot spring public bath. Usually I find Japanese baths just too damn hot - usually it's a grim room tiled in school-changing-room not-quite-white, so full of steam that you can't breathe, let alone see anything, and within 3 minutes of entering the bath I get dizzy and lightheaded from the heat and have to leave. This one, however, was really really nice because it was an outdoor Bath, and at an outdoor bath in the snow-covered mountains the air is cold and the steam can dissipate, so it's not so unbearable. Also, the snow on the roof was melting and dripping through slats so a very fine rain of ice-cold water was falling on my head as I soaked in the fiendishly hot bath of slightly sulphurous water.<br /><br />It really was nice, and helped, albeit only slightly, to soothe away the crippling pain in every part of my body.<br /><br />First thing on Day 2, we made an snowman. Tessa, an Australian friend of mine, insisted on it. She said that the only snowman she had ever made before was about 12" high and I told her that at best that was a snow pixie, maybe a snow imp, but certainly not a real snowman. Understandably as there's not much snow in Australia, she seemed incredulous when I told her that we were going to make a snowman bigger than her. Lacking a carrot, any coal, or any appropriate clothing for the snowman, we made do as best we could with whatever materials we had to hand - specifically snow.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZBDdJfVbGI/AAAAAAAAALY/vJldxVaf8eE/s1600-h/snowman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZBDdJfVbGI/AAAAAAAAALY/vJldxVaf8eE/s320/snowman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300810929457687650" border="0" /></a>It was an epic success. Not only taller than Tessa, but also fuckin' awesome looking. I rolled the head and then sculpted the face - and I didn't do too badly at either, I hope you'll agree.<br /><br />Having completed the snowman challenge, we went immediately back up the Gondola to the Beginner's Course again. This time it took us just over an hour. Then we did it again, this time in 55 minutes.<br /><br />After lunch I discovered that apart from the Beginner's Course, there was also a training slope and a practice slope. I went up and down the practice slope a few times, before being dragged up the damn Gondola again.<br /><br />By this stage, I was beginning to feel fairly confident with my very limited snowboarding ability. I wasn't falling over very often, and usually when I did fall over it was mostly deliberate (sometimes it's just the easiest way to stop), although I did manage some extremely heavy falls right square on my arse which hurt like hell. Usually when you fall down snowboarding you kind of skid along a bit which takes most of the force out of the fall - you get a cold wet bum and you bump your knees and elbows a bit, but it's not too bad. When you fall down hard on packed snow straight on your coccyx though, that hurts like a motherbitch.<br /><br />Also, I was still going incredibly slowly down the mountain, so my thighs by now were exploding with pain from braking braking braking all the way down the course. You may well say "well, if it hurt so much why didn't you just go faster?", but it's not as easy as that. Going slowly might hurt my thighs from being tensed all the time, but going fast was likely to hurt my everything by going out of control and slamming into a tree or an infant or just going of the edge of the mountain. Going faster is also a lot more technically difficult. Going slowly like a n00b you go the whole way with your weight behind the board, standing on your heels, just adjusting your weight left to right to control which direction you go, how fast you go and when you turn. You look like a bit of an idiot because it's very stop-go stop-go as you swing slowly from side to side, almost coming to a complete stop each time as you turn around to go back the other way.<br /><br />Going properly down a hill requires you to alternate between having your weight behind the board, standing on your heels and then having your weight in front of the board, standing on your toes as you "carve" quickly down the hill. This is much more difficult, and leads to much falling over.<br /><br />So that was my project for the final day - learn how to ride on my toes and "carve", like a real snowboarder. I received the top tip that the place to practice was not, in fact, the Beginner's Course, nor the practice slope, nor the training slope, but in fact the Snow Park. Obviously. What a fool I was to go as a beginner to the beginner's course, or to try and practice on the practice slope. I should have gone straight to the Snow Park - the place with all the jumps and kickers and rails and boxes where adrenaline junkies like to injure themselves - it stands to reason it would be the best place for a beginner.<br /><br />But it is - as long as you can control the board enough to go around the jumps, the Snow Park is mostly quite shallow gradients with no real difficult bits. So I set off to the Snow Park to try and learn how to carve. I was having some success - I certainly managed to do it, a bit, although I can't really claim that I was in full control of my board the whole time and I did fall over. A lot. Of course, by this stage I was confident enough to go fast enough that when I fell over it really hurt. I was also thoroughly bruised from the previous 2 days snowboarding. Also, when you are trying to learn how to turn on your toes, you fall straight onto you knees a lot, which hurts a hell of a lot more than just falling on your bum.<br /><br />Sadly though, we only had half a day of snowboarding on Day 3 as our bus left at 2pm. So unfortunately I had to leave Cupid's Valley (snigger) still not quite able to do it properly, which is a little unsatisfying.<br /><br />So I've decided to go snowboarding again. Sometime. As soon as possible. Apparently a day trip can be done pretty cheaply - travel, rental, skiing and lift pass for about £40 - so I'm gonna try and do that before all the snow melts.<br /><br />Okay; so you've had a brief summary of what I've been doing, an amusing anecdote of me getting smashed, some interesting tales of adventurous exploits - now on to the bit you've all been waiting for:<br /><br />The shelf of tat!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZBMX_m2zeI/AAAAAAAAALg/M4uuqIznQnk/s1600-h/100_0918.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZBMX_m2zeI/AAAAAAAAALg/M4uuqIznQnk/s400/100_0918.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300820736510184930" border="0" /></a><br />There it in all its glory, with a few new items for you. On the far left you will see a can of Final Fantasy Potion. It restores 100hp when you drink it. Just to the right of that is a little gay snowman - this is a souvenir from my snowboarding trip both to commemorate the awesome snowman I made, and because the Onsen I went to was called Yukidaruma Onsen, which means Snowman Springs. The snowman is clutching a special Christmas Baileys swizzle stick, which came free with my Christmas bottle of Baileys (note that there is another one in the Mickey Mouse shot glass). On the far right you will see a box of backwards chocolate. Dars is a popular chocolate brand here, but it is usually printed forward, not in mirror-image. This is a special promotional pack for Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day works differently here, although I'm not entirely sure the details, but I think it's usual for girls to give chocolate to their boyfriends. Backwards chocolate, therefore, is special chocolate that men are allowed to give to women on Valentine's Day. I know - they do it backwards here to begin with, they're crazy.<br /><br />Finally, front-and-centre, in pride of place is a patch I bought commemorating Pearl Harbor. I shit you not - in Japan you can buy Pearl Harbor patches. In case you were wondering; yes, the USS Arizona BB39 was sunk by Japanese bombers at Pearl Harbor in 1941. What tickled me even more was that on the shelf next to this patch was another one with 'kamikaze' written on it. Hmmm... Ever heard of tact? No. Didn't think so.<br /><br />So once again, good work Japan! Way to come to terms with you war history! Keep up the good work my bandy-kneed friends.<br /><br />What else now... Oh yes - a brief note about my ongoing non-romance with Australian girl (Tessa). It remains a non-romance, although it is no longer ongoing. She went back to Australia halfway through the ski trip (no, I didn't scare her off or anything. She was always planning to leave halfway through).<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZBRmlg93mI/AAAAAAAAALo/lX0oeZMapw0/s1600-h/100_0892.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SZBRmlg93mI/AAAAAAAAALo/lX0oeZMapw0/s400/100_0892.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300826484762336866" border="0" /></a><br />If I ever had a chance I guess I missed it. If I never had a chance anyway then I guess there's nothing to feel bad about. I'm sad to see her leave because not only did I fancy her but she was also a really close friend, but that's just how it goes. Now I just need a new woman to direct myself at. If anyone knows any cool, single English-speaking women living in Tokyo, please send them in my direction. Thanks. I'm afraid I really have no interest in getting with a Jap, to be brutally honest.<br /><br />So that's news dealt with, I think. Now time for future news.<br /><br />In 10 days or so my brother Oli is coming to Tokyo to party with me. We're going to look at Tokyo a bit, travel round Japan a bit, and then 2 weeks later my parents are coming too for about 3 weeks. I'm really looking forward to it - it'll be nice to go sightseeing again and break the humdrum tedium of regular life in Tokyo. After the first month or two the novelty really wore off, and I haven't been pursuing any cultural endeavours really since then, so it's going to be fun to put on my tourist hat again (although I think I'm largely going to be wearing my tour guide's hat).<br /><br />Until then, well, sadly the gym is closed this week, so I guess I'm going to be at home mostly. I'm going out for shabu-shabu and karaoke tomorrow though. (Shabu-shabu, in case you couldn't guess, is the noise a thinly-sliced piece of beef makes when it is moved around in a pot of hot broth. Karaoke, on the other hand, is the noise a well-pickled Me makes when shut in dark room with a microphone and a beer). I've also started studying again recently, which makes me feel a little bit better about the fact that I'm drunk right now, so I guess I've got a little while of staying at home, studying and maybe occassionally going for a run. At least until the gym opens again.<br /><br />I am extremely tired, and my bum still hurts. My knees have both turned greyish-green, there's a large purple patch on my right buttock, my elbows, forearms and wrists are covered in dark little rings and there are some dark purple stripes down my left hip, so I'm going to bed.<br /><br />Read into this what you will.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DNT7uZf7lew&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DNT7uZf7lew&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />GOOD NIGHT!<br />Kong XGenghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-54402702398388599562009-02-07T05:49:00.000-08:002009-02-07T06:47:08.750-08:00*Special Preview* Genghis Kong vs. Snow, Gravity, Mountains and all things slidey<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;">*SPECIAL PREVIEW*<br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><br />*NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN PHOTOGRAPHS*<br /><br />*ONLY AT HTTP://GENGHISKONGVS.BLOGSPOT.COM*</span><br /><br />Dear fans,<br /><br />After a long hiatus (almost a whole month!), Genghis Kong will be returning with the long-awaited next installment of his best-selling blog/philosophical memoir, Genghis Kong Vs. MegaTokyo.<br /><br />The next thrilling episode will chart Genghis' progress through the gruelling ordeal of final exams at an elite Tokyo university, his subsequent adventures as a free-operating cool young thing in the world's coolest city and finally his epic ascent of the imposing Mt. Hishigaoka in Japan's remote Niigata Highlands.<br /><br />You can look forward to:<br /></div><ul style="text-align: center;"><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Thrilling Suspense!</span></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Incredible Extreme Sports Action!</span></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Pseudo-Romance!</span></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Unfathomable Gluttony!</span></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Inadvisable Alcohol Consumption!</span></li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">Health, Beauty and Weight-Loss Tips!</span></li></ul><div style="text-align: center;">All this and more is waiting for you in the upcoming edition of Genghis Kong Vs. MegaTokyo (release date TBC).<br /><br />And if all that isn't enough to entice you, here are some brand-new, never-before-seen <strike>EXPLICIT</strike> photographs of Genghis Kong on his adventures to whet your appetite even more! Read Genghis Kong vs. MegaTokyo to find out the REAL story behind these SHOCKING images!<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SY2eK4qY7gI/AAAAAAAAAKw/671fXxgD14M/s1600-h/EAT.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SY2eK4qY7gI/AAAAAAAAAKw/671fXxgD14M/s320/EAT.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300066246331002370" border="0" /></a><br />Is Genghis about to be out-eaten by this mysterious fur-coated challenger?<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SY2eKAgBcaI/AAAAAAAAAKg/vx3HHZFwENc/s1600-h/100_0878.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SY2eKAgBcaI/AAAAAAAAAKg/vx3HHZFwENc/s320/100_0878.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300066231255134626" border="0" /></a><br />A dancing drunkard and his pet bronze dog, but is this unlikely duo an ally to our hero, or a dangerous new menace?<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SY2eKSAJmPI/AAAAAAAAAKo/JUGW_vg2giU/s1600-h/100_0915.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SY2eKSAJmPI/AAAAAAAAAKo/JUGW_vg2giU/s320/100_0915.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300066235953289458" border="0" /></a><br />Strange markings appear on his leg. Is this a message from some higher being? A tattoo of St. George's Cross gone horribly, horribly wrong? An extremely unusual pattern of bruising?<br /><br />Find the answers to these and many more mysteries ONLY in Genghis Kong Vs. MegaTokyo.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">COMING SOON!</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">[Editor's Note:<br /><br />Hullo chums,<br /><br />I just got back from Snowboarding this evening. I currently experiencing a very high level of physical pain in most parts of my body, but I don't seems to have come to any significant lasting harm. Within a few days the aching will have worn off and I'll be fit as a fiddle again - have no fear!<br /><br />I have much to write about, but the hour grows late and I am weary from long days' travel and travail so I shall leave the bulk of my update until the morning. I just thought I would leave this little teaser-trailer up here to (hopefully) keep you all amused until then and maybe encourage you to come back and have a little look again tomorrow.<br /><br />In brief: all is well, but I am tired. More on those stories tomorrow.<br /><br />Much love,<br />Genghis Kong x]<br /></div></div>Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-23550387147912881542009-01-08T22:04:00.000-08:002009-01-09T01:53:01.897-08:00Genghis Kong vs. Davis and Carroll: Handicap Match!Well, here I am again. Back in Japan, in my own little bedroom, eating my own delicious food, thinking about maybe having a little sleepy later on. It's altogether not too dreadful, I suppose.<br /><br />Hello, friends.<br /><br />I'm so glad you could join me. Do come in, you must be freezing. Let me take your coat. Would you care for a cup of hot peppermint tea?<br /><br />*Ahem* Sorry, I've been in a peculiar mood today. I think it might be because I've been listening to Miles Davis' Bitches Brew whilst trying to read Alice's Adventures in Wonderland in Japanese. The combination of Davis' free, experimental electronic jazz explorations and Carroll's darkly twisted anti-fairy tale received through the filter of a language I barely understand has a uniquely unsettling and disorienting effect on the brain.<br /><br />Still, I'm sure it's all mind-expanding and wholly beneficial to my mental agility.<br /><br />So, I've unpacked my stuff, done the washing-up, passed an exam (haven't had the results yet but... it's a pass), cooked myself a delicious pot of 18 different grains and pulses (it's January; I'm on my healthy thing) and watered the tiny cactus that's attached to my phone. I really ought to be writing one or both of the reports I have due in next week, but I felt I owed you a conclusion my last post. I can't go around promising you prompt follow-ups and not delivering them: that's one sure-fire way to lose a readership!<br /><br />Anyway, as I said, I'm on my healthy thing. I managed to put on 2 kilos (that's about 5 or 6 pounds in English) over the Christmas break, which is a bit shit considering that's more than I lost over all of last semester, so I'm on my healthy thing. So healthy I went for a 'run' yesterday. Running is horrible. Not only is it the most unpleasant way to pass the time that I can possibly imagine, it's downright dangerous. My brief 20 minute 'run' yesterday has left me with some kind of knee injury and barely able to climb stairs.<br /><br />Okay, so it's not that bad - more of a slight twinge when I bend my knee - but certainly enough to prevent me from going to the gym today.<br /><br />I'm also trying to healthy myself up a bit in terms of diet and nutrition. I'm already feeling the benefits of an improved dietary fibre intake (to quote Grandpa Simpson, I'm "moving like Ginger Rogers!"), not to mention improved concentration and mental acuity (from Omega 3 fish oil supplements) and improved eyesight (from Lutein). And of course superhuman strength (tinned spinach), hair regeneration (snake oil) and a new-found love for Placebo (sugar pills).<br /><br />Yes indeed, by the time I get back to the UK this summer I am going to be a veritable powerhouse of timely bowel movements and supple joints. Why, I'll feel like I'm only 38 again!<br /><br />My "healthy thing" also includes getting on the proverbial wagon: yes, I'm off the booze. For how long, who knows. I've mentioned to some of my friends that I'm trying not to drink for a bit and they have all agreed to make it their specific goal to lure me into getting drunk at every possible opportunity, because (and I quote) "it's funny", and "it's makes their life more interesting". Admittedly, the threat of constantly having beers bought for me is not actually that threatening, but I'll allow them to continue to think that that would be a cruel and hilarious joke.<br /><br />So far, 3 days without a drink. Ish - it's a bit confusing with the time difference and all.<br /><br />Anyhoo - the only thing more tedious than trying to lose weight is listening to someone else talking about how they're trying to lose weight, so I'll move on.<br /><br />I was going to tell you all about my wonderful Christmas holiday that most of you were a part of. Well, it goes a little something like this:<br /><br />Christmas Eve - wake up at 5am Japan time with a stinking hangover having spent the previous night sitting in the bath drinking frozen sake while watching Mad Max and The Warriors. Gather my thoughts/possessions, empty my bins and leave the house around 6.30 to begin my epic journey. After 2 hours spread across 3 trains I arrive at Narita and go through the usual boring airport rigamarole without incident, except that I got upgraded to Economy Plus, which actually makes quite a bit of a difference. A 12 hour flight follows, for the first 4 hours of which there is no in flight entertainment. I do not sleep (never do), and just spend the 12 hours sittingly glaring angrily at nothing, wishing I could sleep.<br /><br />It's one of those weird flights where I leave a 2pm, fly for 12 hours and then arrive at 4pm the same day. In theory it's been noon throughout the flight, but because we flew over the North Pole and it's winter, it was actually dark for the entire flight, so my body clock is very confused at this point. I am greeted at the airport by lovely parents who have packed a little lunchbox for me full of cheese, fruit and crackers. I merrily devour all the cheese and fruit but, so as not to appear greedy, I leave the crackers.<br /><br />Christmas Eve and Day progress very merrily with mince pies, devils on horseback, champagne, presents, Christmas dinner and so on. Unfortunately, when I was doing my Christmas shopping a peculiar short circuit in my brain caused me to completely lose the ability to distinguish "a bit crap, but probably amusing/interesting" from "just crap. utter utter crap". This made it a little awkward when all my family gave me really nice presents and I just gave them enormous piles of entirely crappy crap in return. In my defense, they did get several presents each, and i somehow managed to spend a fortune on all that useless crap, but I still felt a bit bad about it. I'll do better next year, I promise!<br /><br />I went out on Boxing Day night for the traditional "lets go out on Boxing Day night" night out on Boxing day night, and due to the fact that my ability to drink beer had been seriously eroded by months in Japan, I ended up completely ga-ga, was refused entry to the bar we were going to so me and Jethro went off somewhere else to get more blottoed before stumbling back to my house. At my house we proceeded to devour both legs off the turkey (a cardinal sin in my household, where the turkey legs are to be saved for a special post-Boxing Day meal). I then went upstairs to fetch Jethro his Christmas present, but by the time I got to my bedroom I had clearly forgotten what I had come for or even the fact that Jethro was in my house at all, so I just went to bed. After a while, Jethro came up to see what had happened to me and demand his presents from me (wait a minute, this is all starting to sound a bit gay... it's not, honest. well, I'd best get on with it). At this moment I honestly didn't know why Jethro was in my house or how he had got in, but I grumpily directed him to the pornography and squid I had brought him from Japan and returned to my alcohol induced coma.<br /><br />Fortunately, I keep a permanent marker by my bed for just such occasions, and before he left Jethro was kind enough to draw an amusing moustache on my face. What a nice friend he is.<br /><br />There was also a Rob's birthday shindig, which was fun - we seemed to spend rather a long time wandering around trying to find somewhere that was serving food so soon after Christmas, but eventually we did and it was tasty. We proceeded to a pub, I presume, and jollity was shared. Having learned from my previous evening's excessive drunkeness I actually managed to maintain a pretty respectable level of inebriation throughout, even having a brief coffee interlude when I felt I was getting a bit too drunk a bit too quickly. I mean, it was a Bailey's coffee, but still, that practically a soft drink, right?<br /><br />Shortly after this, I went up to lovely Sheffield to see all my lovely Sheffield friends in Sheffield, where my lovely friends live.<br /><br />Me and Ronnie had our traditional screaming contest in the car up to Sheffield. Ronnie nearly had nervous breakdown in Waitrose when we stopped to buy a sandwich and have a wee - we spent half an hour trying to find sandwiches, then Ronnie couldn't decide what he wanted to eat so in the end he just bought what I bought (salmon and cucumber sandwich), which turned out to be the only thing he really didn't want to eat because he hates cucumbers. Then when we got back to the car he realised that his car was literally full to the rafters with tons of food his mum had bought for him, so our entire journey round Waitrose was entirely pointless. He had even forgotten to have a wee.<br /><br />We then screamed our way up to Birmingham, and then screamed ourselves all the way onto the M6 Toll, which wasn't where we wanted to go so we had to pay 4 quid just to turn around and go the other way. Following this expensive and frustrating setback, we passed the rest of the journey in silence.<br /><br />Sheffield was really good fun. We arrived the day before New Year's Eve and spent a little while in the kitchen, drinking gin and shrieking at one another until the new Shooting Stars special was on. We watched Shooting Stars together happily eating cheese and drinking cheap French lager until Shooting Stars had finished and there was no cheap French lager left.<br /><br />For New Year's Eve, someone had the genius idea of just doing a really small house party. This is one of the best New Year's Eve suggestions I've heard in years, because going out into town on NYE is universally disastrous. Everything is unbelievably expensive, crowded and shit, and everyone just ends up having a really bad time for about £60, so the idea of just bringing your won booze to a house full of your friends where you get to choose what music gets played is infinitely more appealing to me.<br /><br />I actually had an awesome time. I danced a lot. Possibly I danced a little too vigorously. Probably I danced a little too vigorously and on camera. There may well be some strange videos of my vigorous dancing appearing on facebook/youtube in the future, if Heg is as cruel as I think he probably is. I've already decided that I'm not going to look at them. As far as I'm concerned, as long as I never see these videos, they don't exist, and I haven't embarassed myself. Laura kindly catered a load of party foos for us, I drank my own bodyweight in gin, and Katie man was a fantastic mess of a state having apparently consumed an entire bottle of rum in the space of about an hour. Bear in mind the fact that Katie man is only fourteen inches tall and weighs about the same as a chinchilla, and you will begin to understand why she was quite so drunk. She spent the night charging around trying to find out who drank all her rum (you drank it, my dear, sorry) and asking people to make her cocktails. Fortunately she has a lot of very responsible friends, so all her 'cocktails' for the night were basically coke and water. Fun times though, and merriment was shared by all parties.<br /><br />Later on that night, after most people had gone home. I *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* and then, *CENSORED* *CENSORED* in the garden pond. *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* a highly trained team of Peruvian midget acrobats *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* with a melon. *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* one small aubergine, and *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* "Help! Margery is dead!" she wept, *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* Oh, how we laughed! *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* and I thought, Me? In the nearby Catholic girl's school? With half a bottle of madeira and a pair of knickers on my head? With my reputation? *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* but unfortunately, I was very, very drunk.<br /><br />I rose the next morn at the very respectable hour of 10am, got dressed, and tried to find my way home.<br /><br />Later that day we went down to the newly refurbished Notty House in search of their famous pies. Sadly, no pies were forthcoming, so in the end we went into town to go to Nando's for some exciting chickeny goodness. This proved to be a very wise move, and I spent the next half hour off my head on spicy whilst 'The Movie Game' was invented around me. The Movie Game is a bit like charades for lazy people: you just describe film, preferably in a confusing and oblique kind of way. e.g.<br />"Mad nanny" - Mary Poppins (or, equally, Mrs Doubtfire)<br />"A team of midgets wandering through the countryside, trying to deliver jewellery to a fire" - Lord of the Rings<br />"Bloke snogs his sister and then discovers that the main antagonist is his dad" - Star Wars<br /><br />You get the idea.<br /><br />We then went off to the Cobden View to talk loudly and at great length about dildos over a pint or two of cider before heading back to Heg's for Jonathan Creek. For those of you who didn't see the astonishing tour-de-force that was Jonathan Creek's spectacular comeback, let me assure you, it was phenomenal. It was utterly, utterly ridiculous and unintentionally hilarious in so many ways. I feel slightly sorry for those people who were watching with me and actually trying to follow the 'plot', because most of us were having far more fun loudly criticising how stupid it was, and trying to guess what the solution was. Some were better at picking up clues than others...<br />Wilko: Felix Dies? Isn't that Latin for 'happy day' or something?<br />Me: Felix Dies! That's totally Latin for 'cat god'! It was the cat all along I tells ya!<br /><br />*ahem* I always wanted to study Latin. At times like that I really wish I had.<br /><br />So that was Jonathan Creek. We then proceeded to Nisa (a 24 shop which is no longer called Nisa, but I can't remember what it's changed its name to) to pick up more booze and head back to Sellick and the girls' house to drink it. This is where Laura went a bit wrong and, after having spent half an hour showing us her massive minge (not really, but she was rolling around on the sofa flashing the massive hole between her legs... in her jeans) she invented the official cocktail of 2009 - rum and wine with a Special K bar in it. It was all a bit weird, but dead funny, and I've got some horrific photos of Barto looking awful which mean that it's still funny now.<br /><br />The next day we watched The Mighty Ducks: D2, and considered how much the Mighty Ducks had changed between D2 and D12 (ho ho, just my little joke there...) We went and had some good old fashioned pub nosh at the Tav, and then I came home.<br /><br />I spent a few more days at home having a lovely time at home with my home. My little brother was in Mixmag, which is exciting (check out his My Space www.myspace.com/slugabedmusic, apparently he's the 4th most influential Aquacrunk producer in Glasgow). I went to the pub. Twice. [You may be able to tell I'm running out of stamina for this post] It was good. Then i packed up some cheese and left for Tokyo. Which is also good.<br /><br />Now I am here. Which I think is good.<br /><br />Well, I might come back to this post at some point and add some photos to it or at least give it a proper ending, but right now I am feeling uncommonly sleepy and really struggling to maintain focus on the task at hand, so I'll sign off.<br /><br />Good bye<br /><br />Here's some deliciously topical Italo Disco from 1985 to amuse you all<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UwirULt5iEU&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UwirULt5iEU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Lovely love,<br />*CENSORED* KongGenghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-49741684026545358202009-01-04T09:44:00.000-08:002009-01-04T16:59:34.800-08:00Genghis Kong vs. 2008Merry Christmas all, and Happy New Year!<br /><br />*lots to catch up on: long post alert!*<br /><br />I hope the start of 2009 finds all you lovely people healthy, happy and optimistic for the year ahead. As for myself, this year promises to be one of many challenges and opportunities, to put it as optimistically as I can. I will be going back to Japan in two days time and from then on, I will not see England's green and pleasant land until August: 7 solid months of hardcore Japtasticness. I have exams starting on the 9th of January, but once I finish my exams and hand in my final projects for the year on the 15th I'll have no more classes until some time in March/April time. During the intervening Spring Break I have a little skiing holiday planned, followed by extended visits from both my older brother and my parents. With a bit of luck I might injure myself horrifically during the skiing, so that when my family come to visit they will have to spend their entire time nursing a cripple.<br /><br />I am back in lovely, lovely England - that most wonderful of countries where everything is bloody amazing and I am deliriously happy every single day. Nothing makes you appreciate home like spending 3 months in a different country. Well, spending 7 months in a different country will probably have the same effect, but 3 months was quite enough. It's the little things that you come to miss: pubs where people don't look at you strangely if you just want a pint with no food; saying "thank you" to the man in the shop when you buy a paper (in Japan this is considered very strange behaviour); holding the door open for someone (also considered somewhat deviant in Japan); reasonably priced beer, taxis and pub grub; Wi-Fi. All these simple, everyday things which we take for granted in England are either incredibly rare or considered strange and freakish in Japan. Returning to England every little thing is a new and exciting treat for me.<br /><br />Of course, you also miss your home, family and friends when you are spending a long time abroad, probably more than you miss wireless internet, but that's to be expected really.<br /><br />Oh, and cheese.<br /><br />So, what do I miss about Japan when I'm in England? Well, I'm not sure if I really 'miss' much, but I suppose there are things in Japan which I will be glad of when I have them again. For example, my daily Fibe Mini - a fibre supplement drink that looks and tastes a bit like Irn Bru, without which, and thanks to the sudden dietary shift from brown rice and vegetables to meat and cheese, my daily motions have become increasingly traumatic. There's also the gym - the gym at my Uni in Japan is actually remarkably crap, low-tech and badly equipped, but it is on-campus and, most importantly, completely free so I actually manage to go pretty regularly. This will hopefully be a great help with my New Year's resolutions.<br /><br />Speaking of which, it would probably be appropriate for me to put forth some New Year's resolutions. Usually they just float around my head vaguely and I can conveniently forget/ignore them as I fail them one by one, so I'll put them in writing this year. This way everyone will know exactly how I fail to live up to my own expectations.<br /><br />This year's resolution, I suppose, is probably going to be the same one which I have failed at each year for the past 5 years: sort my life out. When I told this to Jethro, he told me that, as far as he could tell, my life seems pretty well in order and doesn't need too much sorting out. Upon further consideration I had to concede that this was probably true, and I do in fact worry too much about the state of my life. Nonetheless, there are a few key points about which I have long wanted to make some changes, so I suppose 'sort my life out' can be divided into the following sub-resolutions:<br /><ol><li>Study more, work harder, be less lazy</li><li>Drink less booze, less often and be less drunk all the time</li><li>Exercise more, eat properly, lose loads of weight</li></ol>*Parents and family members: look away now*<br /><br /> 4. Have more sex (perhaps a slightly strange New Year's resolution and not directly linked to 'sorting my life out', but hey, there it is)<br /><br />So those are my New Year's resolutions, and they have been my New Year's resolutions pretty much every year for the last three or four years. Every year I make these promises to myself and, virtually without exception, fail at them all to varying degrees. This is probably because none of them are particularly easy, they are all very vague, and they pretty much require sweeping changes to all aspects of my lifestyle, so perhaps I ought to go for a single, simpler, more attainable and measurable resolution, for example:<br /><br /> 5. Read a Japanese newspaper every day (while I'm in Japan)<br /><br />Which is something I can actually conceivably achieve to some reasonable degree. So, actually, while I have certainly considered lots of New year's resolutions I don't actually seem to have settled on a single one to actually stick to. Oh well, I guess I'll just do my best. Or at least がんばります, which is almost the same as doing my best, but it actually just means 'persevere' with no implication that I will do well; just that I will continue struggling along even with no hope of success.<br /><br />Right, now I'm going to try to tell you about all the stuff I've done since my last post, but my last post was 3 and a half weeks ago so this is going to take a long time. Also, as I can scarcely remember what happened 3 weeks ago, it might be a little hazy.<br /><br />3 weeks ago I was still in Japan. Apart from a History exam for which I didn't study properly, but still expect to get at least 80%, the only events of note, as far as I can remember, were a couple of Birthday parties and a Christmas party. The first birthday party went along the usual formula - we went for a meal with 2 hours all-you-can-eat-and-drink followed by going to Hub, the English Pub (as usual). This party was pretty fun, but only really notable because of the fact that I actually succeeded at catching the last train home and finding my way successfully to my own bed without mishap.<br /><br />The Christmas party was good fun too. There was a formal dress code at the restaurant (all-you-can-eat-and-drink for 2 hours) so I got to get all nicely dressed up in my smarts.<br /><br />Here is a nice(ish) picture of me and my friend Kaleb<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SWEMQKzH0vI/AAAAAAAAAI4/Y5IYoR1jlns/s1600-h/100_0692.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SWEMQKzH0vI/AAAAAAAAAI4/Y5IYoR1jlns/s400/100_0692.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5287520909425890034" border="0" /></a><br />We both own pink phones and we work out together a lot. If I didn't know I wasn't gay, I would probably think we were gay together, but I know I'm not gay, so I guess we're probably not gay together after all. All the Japs think he's gay, and he gets very pissed off at them. His catchphrase is "I hate this frickin' country", so we have a lot in common. (Not gay).<br /><br />My catchphrase, incidentally, is "God, what a dreadful country populated by awful, awful people."<br /><br />The following day it was Byeolyi's birthday (one of the cool Koreans at my school). We went for Thai food (2 hours all-you-can-eat again, although this time only one drink was included), and I actually abstained from drinking altogether. Aren't I just the very model of temperance and moderation?<br /><br />The next day was my last day of school. I had my history final in the afternoon, after which Kaleb and I went to the Centre for International Studies to check for the fourth time that we definitely didn't need to get a re-entry permit before we left the country for Christmas. We had each independently come to the office to inform them that we were going home for Christmas and ask them about re-entry permits on more than one occasion, and we had both been assured that no, we didn't need to do anything else or get a permit, it was fine, just come and let them know when we got back to the country. However on this occasion, the day before Kaleb was flying home and 2 days before I was to, they suddenly realised that, oh shit, actually we do need to get a re-entry permit before we leave the country, otherwise we invalidate our visas and won't be allowed back in.<br /><br />Actually they weren't even as helpful as that. They just looked panicky and confused and said "Yes you definitely do need re-entry permit. Very important. What? You fly tomorrow? Oh, maybe you don't need one. Hmmm... It's okay, you don't need one. Should be okay. You be okay." Which was actually entirely not true. We very much did need re-entry permits, but the Japanese compulsion not to be confrontational or tell someone they have done something wrong obliged them to simply lie to us and say that we'd be fine. An entirely unhelpful way to deal with problems.<br /><br />So, stressed and anxious about our re-entry permits, Kaleb and I proceeded to Hub, the English Pub for some conciliatory Gs&Ts (happy hour G&T still a pretty good price, despite the exchange rate). The more astute among you may be noticing a certain theme of Hub, the English Pub developing in this blog. I don't actually like the place all that much, and their beer is unfeasibly expensive (actually about normal by Tokyo standards, but extortionate by UK prices), but somehow we end up going there almost every time someone wants a drink, largely because their happy hour last for 3 hours and offers £1.50 cocktails.<br /><br />At the Hub we rendezvoused with Haneul (Korean girl), Alex (American gay) and Alex's brother and friend of brother (American young people) and decided, after happy hour, to go do PuriKura which is basically fancy photo booths which take 'amusing' pictures of you and your friends. I might go into more detail on the subject at a later date but for now I'll just show you the finished product:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SWEnpxVSAeI/AAAAAAAAAJA/FnPqEjank1Q/s1600-h/purikura.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 226px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SWEnpxVSAeI/AAAAAAAAAJA/FnPqEjank1Q/s400/purikura.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5287551036080390626" border="0" /></a><br />Believe it or not, only one person in this picture is gay. (It's not me).<br /><br /><br />Anyway after purikura we shook off the Alex and his harem, acquired an Australian girl, Tessa, and spent an amazingly pointless hour or two wandering around trying to find somewhere to drink, by which time Kaleb had sobered up enough to realise that he couldn't afford to drink any more,<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SWEwzi-P9AI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/aPFCL9xYos4/s1600-h/super+mega+wendys.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 281px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SWEwzi-P9AI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/aPFCL9xYos4/s320/super+mega+wendys.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5287561099629032450" border="0" /></a> so we ended up just going to Wendy's for a burger. For some reason I felt compelled to order the Super Mega Wendy's Monster Burger or whatever it was called (basically a triple bacon cheeseburger type thing) which, to make it even worse, comes with a free upgrade to large-size fries and soda. I quickly realised that I did not want to eat this much burger and chips, but a misplaced sense of pride/honour/frugality/greed forced me to consume the entire meal, leaving me feeling extremely unwell.<br /><br />*parents and family members: skip the next part*<br /><br />It was at this point Tessa, who incidentally is the girl I asked out a couple months ago and was rejected by, asked me if I wanted to go round to her room to watch Love Actually, share a bottle of white wine and, quite possibly, spend the night. Presumably she had some kind of amorous advances in mind (or just thinks I'm gay), but I had literally eaten so much that I couldn't face it. I had somehow eaten my way out of pulling.<br /><br />This is just another example of my extraordinary talent for not having sex. There have been a surprisingly large number of occasions when a woman I fancy has been trying to get me into their bed and I have somehow ended up accidentally talking my way out of it. It's like some kind of strange affliction. I think I might be under some kind of malignant curse, although I can't specifically remember pissing off any evil witches recently.<br /><br />So I went home clutching my stomach and sat around thinking about how I could have got laid.<br /><br />2 days later it was Christmas Eve and I was on my way home.<br /><br />I realise that I haven't even got as far as me leaving Japan yet, and I've at least another two week's festive frivolities to fill you all in on, but I feel as though this post has been going on for an awfully long time, and as my tale seems to have reached a natural break, I felt I might just take a little break as well - It's hard work this blogging malarkey, you know. I started writing this at half five and it's now about ten o'clock, so I think I deserve a little bit of a rest, don't you?<br /><br />I'll try to do another one tomorrow or, failing that, soon after getting back to Japan, to let you know what I did over Christmas (even though most of you, being my friends and family, will already know what I did over Christmas, as you were probably there. Still, it might be amusing for you to read about things you personally witnessed or even participated in from someone else's point of view).<br /><br />But before I go, I shall deal with a question which a few people have asked me regarding the Japanese children's television program Pitagora Suicchi.<br /><br />Hopefully some of you will remember the video I posted a while ago of various opening sequences for Pitagora Suicchi with the amazing marble rolling aparatus. Here's a brief reminder for those of you who missed it (sorry for the horrible sound quality):<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fVZ07isS-po&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fVZ07isS-po&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Well, a couple of my friends asked me what the actual content of the TV show was: was it just half an hour of improbable marble rolling? Well, no. The show is made up of various short sequences which are very diverse and as far as I can tell the only thing they have in common is that they are all works of utter genius. Here is one of my favourites: The Algorithm March. I watch this almost every morning before school and I think it is the sole thing which enables me to cope with life in Japan.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/84wDrNg7foQ&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/84wDrNg7foQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.<br /><br />Farewell all, and I'll hopefully be updating this again very soon.<br /><br />Season's greetings and much love,<br />Genghis ClausGenghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-67520085639549364122008-12-11T22:23:00.000-08:002008-12-11T23:43:42.287-08:00Genghis Kong vs. ArticleHello fans!<br /><br />(and all the rest of you)<br /><br />I'm afraid this is not going to be much of a post. I promised you a nice newsy update at the end of my last post, but the sad thing is there is not much news to tell. I have been going to school some days, not going to school on others. Doing homework some days, failing to achieve anything productive on others. I've been getting drunk at the weekends, and sometimes accidentally getting drunk on schoolnights too, but apart from a couple of fairly embarrassing/tedious episodes involving me falling asleep on the train home because I was drunk and waking up several hundred miles away from where I had hoped to be, not much of note has happened. I somehow managed to repeat this ridiculous process twice in a single weekend! I 'accidentally' went clubbing in Roppongi on the Friday night: left the club around 3/4am, finally got home at 11.30 (it's usually about an hour, at most). I spent Saturday nursing a brutal hangover, but somehow managed to let myself get talked into going clubbing AGAIN... It was actually a really good club, and the music was awesome (Dubstep an' ting), but yet again I somehow managed to completely fuck up getting home - left the club at 4am, got home around 1pm the next day. D'oh!<br /><br />So that's about it. Other significant notes about my life:<br /><ul><li>I'm still not smoking - about 2 months, ish? I haven't even bothered keeping track.<br /></li><li>I'm currently drinking heroic quantities of coffee every day</li><li>A sort of vaguely-healthy-eating/diet type thing which I had been pursuing has long since fallen by the wayside</li><li>I've been going to the gym thrice a week (6 times a fortnight) for the last month or two, which is nice</li><li>I'm falling way behind on Kanji and other homework</li><li>I've trimmed my moustache into a ridiculous Hulk Hogan/James Hetfield/Leather Dude out of The Village People big gay handlebar</li><li>I just cut my hair (I don't really know how it looks yet, but I think I might be balding rather disastrously)<br /></li></ul>Apart from that, natalatagwan to be honest. I've started doing some Christmas shopping. I've got some 'hilarious' (retarded) little nick-nacks to bring home for some of you lucky people. I've also just gone and bought myself my traditional Christmas bottle of Baileys. This has become something of a Christmas tradition of mine over the last few years, and it goes a little like this:<br /><ol><li>As it approaches Christmas it occurs to me that I secretly quite like Baileys, and it is Christmas after all, so I go and buy myself a bottle of Baileys</li><li>I pour myself a nice chilled glass of Baileys and watch Disney's Robin Hood or The Box of Delights or something similar</li><li>I enjoy the delicious rich creaminess and wonder why I don't drink Baileys more often</li><li>I finish my first Baileys and pour myself another. I gag on the cloying rich creaminess and, beginning to feel rather nauseous, I remember precisely why I don't drink Baileys more often</li><li>I force myself to finish a whole bottle of gross, cloying, sickly-sweet Irish muck over a week or so</li><li>I find out (too late) how many calories there are in a measure of Baileys and weep, swearing never to drink it again</li><li>Until next year</li></ol>So far, my bottle of Baileys remains untouched in the fridge, so I'm actually quite looking forward to it, but I'm sure within a day or two I will be ruing the day I decided to buy it. At least it's not as expensive here as it is in England.<br /><br />Incidientally, yes, I have drunk Baileys from a shoe, but no, I don't want to go to a club where people wee on each other, thank you very much.<br /><br />So anyway, not much going on. But that's not the real reason I wrote this post. The real reson is that one of my friends in Sheffield edits/produces/curates a sort of magazine. I guess you could call it an arts/culture/fashion/music/current affairs/amusing nonsense sort of magazine. It's called Article, presumably because that's what it contains. Anyway, I wrote an article for Article recently, and Article issue 4, featuring my article, has just been printed.<br /><br />If you are in Sheffield, keep your eyes open for real live hard copies of Article, but for those of you living further afield it can be found online in an eco-friendly version here:<br /><a href="http://www.myspace.com/articlemagazine">http://www.myspace.com/articlemagazine</a><br />although as I type this, their myspace claims to be undergoing routine maintenance and is inaccessible. Should you have trouble with this one, please seek for the magazine here:<br /><a href="http://www.impursuit.com/article/issue4.pdf">http://www.impursuit.com/article/issue4.pdf</a><br /><br />Mine is the cheery piece on suicide on page 26 (page 14 on the pdf because the pages are double-scanned), but you should definitely take a look at the rest of the magazine too because it's usually very entertaining (I haven't read this issue yet).<br /><br />(Watch this video as you read the top of the third column of my article)<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BE35onlIySk&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BE35onlIySk&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />If you enjoyed anything you found written in Article, or even if you didn't, please go and list yourself as a 'fan' of Article magazine on facebook:<br /><a href="http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Article-Magazine/17179551383?ref=ts">http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/Article-Magazine/17179551383?ref=ts</a><br /><br />The more people sign up as fans, the more they can charge for advertising, the more money they get, the more content goes into the next issue. There's even talk of printing parts of it in colour, which is very exciting.<br /><br />Now I'm about to something very unpleasant to all of you, but can I assure you that it's not my fault: blame Evil Ronnie for this one (I knew there was a reason his name's 'Evil').<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Get ready for the Jingle Bass!!!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><object width="480" height="295"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qUgBJcOREXY&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qUgBJcOREXY&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="295"></embed></object><br /><br /></span></span>I apologise for that. Truly I do.<br /><br />Much love,<br />Genghis Claus xxxGenghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-9318431369084172362008-12-04T06:44:00.000-08:002008-12-04T07:59:52.991-08:00Genghis Kong vs. Arianna HuffingtonDear World,<br /><br />I have just watched today's edition of The Daily Show with John Stewart (if you don't already watch this programme religiously - or at least cultishly - you really, really ought to. It's the only source of American political news I trust.) On today's edition (December the 3rd; actually yesterday thanks to the 15 hour time difference between me and New York) a lovely lady called Arianna Huffington appeared to promote her new book about blogging. She told me that the key to blogging is spontaneity and not thinking too much about what you write, so here I am, spontaneously not thinking about what I'm writing. Apparently blogging is supposed to be like an intimate conversation, without any of the intimacy (it's so convenient having someone tell me exactly how I'm supposed to act and think - it was getting confusing having to work it out on my own.) So I'm going to try a semi-spontaneous off-the-cuff post, currently having little idea what the actual content of this is going to be.<br /><br />Because that, apparently, is blogging.<br /><br />Also, spontaneous stream-of-consciousness blogging rather precludes self-censorship, so if anything unsavoury comes up: sorry, parents.<br /><br />I have recently been amused by the merry spin Japan puts on alcoholism. Firstly, alcohol is advertised widely, proudly and without 'drink responsibly' tags attached to all the ads. As far as I can tell there are no real regulations to alcohol advertising, and on my way to school I pass many 30-foot-wide billboards extolling the virtues of Japan's many fine beers. Which can, when I am trying not to drink (a frequent struggle) be more than slightly troublesome, although I have to say I feel it more keenly on my way home from school in the evening than on my way to school at 8.30 in the morning (I'm not THAT bad... yet...)<br /><br />Secondly, there are the wonderful, uplifting messages printed on Japanese beer cans which make the whole idea of getting drunk seems so much more appealing. Asahi Clear have clearly paid someone who can actually speak English to write theirs:<br />Clear Asahi is brewed with select barley malt, hops and grains by using our pure cultured yeast. Its unique brewing process creates a distinctively bold, clear and smooth taste.<br /><br />Now that sounds pretty damn tempting, and not at all retarded.<br /><br />Kirin, thankfully, has no such compunction about asking a genuine English speaker to tell them whether their beer slogans sound retarded or not.<br />Kirin Tanrei:<br />Sheer refreshment! Open up the good taste that goes perfectly with good times.<br />Kirin Green Label:<br />Green label brings you a comfortable time. The refreshing taste cheers your mind.<br />Kirin Nodogoshi Nama (their cheapest beer-flavoured brew):<br />Kirin's brewing technology elaborates the Nodogoshi!<br />And my personal favourite, on Kirin Strong Seven (that's their tramp-flavoured 7% ABV beer-flavoured beverage):<br />This hard and clear taste brings you the great feeling. (No messing. No apologies. Hard. Clear. By 'great feeling' I presume they mean 'numb to the outside world')<br /><br />I honestly didn't think anyone could make super lager sound appealing, but somehow these tricksy Japs have achieved it (nom nom nom).<br /><br />To continue my discussion of how GOD DAMNED CRAZY these people are, allow me to tell you of the fabulous drink known as 'a Hoppy'.<br /><br />No doubt you are all familiar with the concept of an alcohol-free beer. They are those mysteriously overpriced, sad-looking bottles of misery that live in the fridges of many nightclubs and are never bought by anyone. They are the social outcasts of the beverages world. Even amongst the alcohol-free clique of drinks, they are shunned. I mean, J2O may be alcohol-free, but compared to low-alcohol lager it's the coolest girl at the party. To offer a badly-thought-out American-high-school analogy, J2O is known to be a geek and a loser, but someone caught low-alcohol lager masturbating in the school toilets 2 years ago, and no-one has spoken to him since. That's how low low-alcohol lager is in the grand hierarchy of drinks.<br /><br />And yet in Japan there is an alcohol-free beer known as 'Hoppy' which is widely popular. Many bars hang banners outside their premises advertising that they sell Hoppy. Let me tell you now that Japan is not a nation of teetotallers. Their drinking culture differs from ours in many significant ways, but no one could accuse the Japs of not liking a wee drink or two every now and then/every night of the week.<br /><br />You see, the thing is, 'Hoppy' is an alcohol-free beer, but 'a Hoppy' from a bar is something rather different.<br /><br />'A Hoppy' (I shit you not) is a chilled bottle of Hoppy alcohol-free beer, served in a chilled glass tankard, with a large chilled measure of Shochu (liquor) stirred into it. Shochu is Japan's rough liquor - it is diatilled from grain or potatoes and fills the role of Vodka in Japanese society. It's only 25%(ish) but has no significant flavouor and is cheap as dirt.<br /><br />So basically, what I'm getting at is: alcohol-free beer + alcohol = commercial success in Japan.<br /><br />...??!!///...?...........<br /><br />B... Wha...?<br /><br />Utterly baffling. What can I say.<br /><br />Right - school tomorrow, so I shall start signing off.<br /><br />I shall firstly bring to all of your attentions the 'Get Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" to be Christmas number one!' campaign, which is a serious issue in which I believe very strongly. I urge all of you who read to this join the Facebook group, invite all of your Facebook friends to join the group, and then to actually buy the single (wait until after December 15th otherwise it won't count for Christmas no. 1).<br /><br />Honestly, I adore this song more than almost any other and I would be utterly beside myself with joy if it were Christmas number 1 this year. I'm not sure if they're actually re-releasing it as a single, but the charts include download sales these days, so if everyone just downloads it from iTunes then it could make it.<br /><br />Come on people: we can do this!!!<br /><br />Also, if anyone wants christmas prezzies please give me a shout what Jappy stuff you fancy - if it's cheap enough you might just get your wish! (seriously, this country is DAMN expensive and I'm running out of cash fast, so keep 'em small if you want any chance of getting your wish.)<br /><br />So there you are. That's it. All that remains is to say that I wrote this post while drunk with absolutely no forethought, and I feel it's possibly one of my better ones, so please COMMENT and give me feedback about how you feel about it.<br /><br />Also...<br /><br />wait a minute...<br /><br />I've forgotten what I was about to write,<br /><br />but don't worry,<br /><br />it'll come back to me in a moment, I'm sure...<br /><br />...<br /><br />...<br /><br />Oh yeah, I remember!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Don't stop believing,<br />Hold on to that feeeling,<br />Streetlights, people,<br />Ah a-ah a-ah a-ah</span><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ip1zsUIosoA&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ip1zsUIosoA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Love, lo<span style="font-style: italic;"></span>ve, love,<br />Wood, wood, wood,<br />X, x, x<br /><br />PS. Journey at number 1 would be the best Christmas present ever. Don't forget it.<br /><br />PPS. I'll try to do a more 'newsy' post soon, to let you all know what I'm actually doing with myself. a bit. if any of you actually cares *sob sob*Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-16348112906619404972008-11-19T20:15:00.000-08:002008-11-19T23:21:42.533-08:00Genghis Kong vs. GachapinLordies and Gentleforks,<br /><br />I noticed today that it has been exactly two weeks since last I updated my blog, and that last post was not even a real update: just an amusing video of Japanese people being silly (they are so very silly), so I felt that I really ought to write something. More than that, I feel I owe you all an apology for keeping you waiting so long. I will try to make sure this little post is all you could wish for and more.<br /><br />I have of late been somewhat troubled by two things in particular. The first is insomnia, or some kind of problem with my sleep pattern, and the second is the plummetting value of the Pound. I think I may have mentioned my sleeping problems before, possibly at great length, so I'll try not to go into too much wearysome detail, but in short I can't sleep. I lie down, I close my eyes, I even count sheep, but nothing happens. I seem to have forgotten some vital step in the going-to-sleep process, but I can't for the life of me work out what it was. I'll eventually drift off around 2 or 3am, then wake up several times, usually at 5, 5.30 and 6.30, each time thinking "hmmm, I'm pretty awake now, maybe I should just get up", but when my alarm clock goes off at 6.50 my only thoughts are "Bleeaaarggh. Mrrrrfffff? Hrmrmrmrmr fuck offfff..." and I wake up groggy, woozy, headachey and pissed off, which is not a great way to start the day.<br /><br />No - that's not just a hangover. I know what I hangover feels like, and this is much worse.<br /><br />In fact, my difficulty sleeping is driving me to the drink. Now, those of you who know me well will be aware that I was not a teatotaller before i came to Japan. I have been known to enjoy a drop of bubbly at Christmas, and sometimes even a shandy or two at the end of a long week. But recently I've been thinking "God I can't be bothered with another sleepless night and feeling shitty all day tomorrow. I'll just get drunk" which is not a healthy lifestyle or frame of mind. The fact is though, I feel better with a hangover but having slept well than I do when I haven't slept properly.<br /><br />I've been thinking perhaps I ought to go and buy another mattress; my bed is spectacularly uncomfortable. I've bruises on my hips just from rolling over in the night. I think my futon might be stuffed with granite or iron filings.<br /><br />And then there's the money issue. It's almost like there was some kind of global economic crisis going on or something... Basically, the value of the Pound is unimaginably low, especially when compared to the Yen which has remained relatively strong throughout the turmoil. 5 months ago £1 was worth 215 Yen. 2 months ago it was 185. Now it's around 140. That's a fall of 25% over 2 months, or 35% since July.<br /><br />To put this in context for those of you not particularly familiar with Japanese currency, as long as I've been paying attention to Japan it has always been around 200 Yen to the pound, give or take. Sometimes it was a little more, sometimes a little less, but it was close enough. This made the calculations pretty convenient: 1000 Yen (the smallest note) was worth a fiver (our smallest note), so it all made sense and was pretty easy. 10,000 was £50. A 600 Yen pint was a £3 pint - pretty much average. Now a 600 Yen pint costs £4.28. Whenever I want to take out fifty quid, it costs me £71.50, not including the £1.50 my bank charges me for the privilege of using my card abroad!<br /><br />Needless to say, this has caused me much fiscal consternation. Fortunately I have some money in Yen format, so I haven't actually had to use my Pounds too much, but I've not got many Yen left so I'm going to start feeling the rub pretty soon.<br /><br />On the other hand, as my Father pointed out, this would be a very good time to start earning some Yen - exploiting the credit crunch to my own advantage - so I'm going to look into some English teaching work or something.<br /><br />Aside from these two minor worries, however, the sun is shining, I only have one more lecture left this week, and all is pretty much well with me. I've been doing a fair amount of work, although I'm falling wa-a-ay behind with my Kanji - it turns out 60 kanji per week is rather more than i can realistically keep up with. My mid-term exams are all behind me, I've no major deadlines for 2 weeks, and I'm making progress with my Year-Abroad research project.<br /><br />Also, possibly more significantly, I've recently been starting to feel like I can speak Japanese. Not especially well, mind you, but on the whole I understand when people speak to me, and they seem to understand what I say in response, so I guess I can speak Japanese... There's no other explanation for it.<br /><br />I think that's all the 'serious' bit dealt with. No more real 'news' to tell you, except that I'll be back in 5 weeks and my cheese cravings are almost unbearable. Every day on my way home I detour to walk past a bakery where they are always giving out free samples of cheese bread - the typical sweet, spongey Japanese bread with a few meagre pieces of yellow and orange generic-factory-cheese in the middle. I also, once or twice a week, go to the food court underneath the Seibu department store and eat all the free samples at their cheese stall. Sometimes when I'm a bit drunk I buy a little pack of salami and smoked cheese, but apart from those three indulgences, there is no cheese in my life. They do have cheese in this country; in fact, at the fancy department stores they even have some pretty good cheese, but it's so gosh darn expensive that I can't bring myself to buy it. 150g of Stilton at the supermarket is 1,680 Yen, which is £12 at today's exchange rate, and there's no way I'm going to pay that much for a piece of cheese. Even the cheap crappy Japanese cheese is 400+ Yen (£2-3) for 100g.<br /><br />Now, on to the important stuff. Let me start with the Shelf of Tat. You will be excited to know that the Shelf is positively groaning under the weight of Tat arrayed upon it. In fact, some of the older Tat has been pushed back slightly to make room for the newer Tat.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSTzT0Ch3bI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/v_izsufJQek/s1600-h/100_0584.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSTzT0Ch3bI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/v_izsufJQek/s400/100_0584.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270604985642638770" border="0" /></a>So, to introduce the new ones, and refresh your memory on the older ones, let's do a quick roll-call, left to right.<br /><br />1. Battleship Yamato beer mug<br />2. Daruma<br />3. Talks-just-like-your-father SoftBank Dog<br />4. *NEW* White dog with your Father's voice<br />5. Sexy Dr Pepper can<br />6. *NEW* Minnie Mouse ears<br />7. *NEW* Bag of Yen<br />8. *NEW* Mickie and Minnie shot glass<br />9. *NEW* Singing employment mouse<br />10. Gachapin<br /><br />That's right: there are 5 - count them - 5 new additions to the shelf of tat. Lets take a closer look at this motley bunch.<br /><br />You all remember the talks-just-like-your-father SoftBank dog, right? With classic one-liners like "You are too young for that!" who could forget? Well, I am proud to introduce to you one of the finest pieces of tat I have found so far: a really naff plastic rip-off of the SoftBank dog! That's right, this isn't just a smaller version of the talks-just-like-your-father SoftBank dog, this the 'white dog with your father's voice', made by the White Dog Company. I won it in a 100 Yen UFO-catcher machine (took me about 6 tries, so the little bastard cost me about £4). It even comes complete with naff crappy rip-off pieces of fatherly advice. (Look back to September's post, 'Genghis Kong vs. the SoftBank Dog' to remind yourself of the nuggets of unfiltered fatherly wisdom that the original SoftBank Dog dispensed).<br /><br />White dog says:<br />ボイズ・ビー・アンビシャスだ!<br />Boys be amitious! (he just says this in English but with a Japanese accent, so it comes out as boizu bii anbishasu)<br />コラ!<br />Look!<br />意思が弱い!<br />Your intention is weak!<br /><br />And other crappy bits of nonsense. Well, he used to say those things. His battery is already dead.<br /><br />SoftBank Dog says: "That's quite enough of that!" and I think he's right.<br /><br />The Minnie ears are from DisneySea (like DisneyLand, but wetter), which I went to a couple of weeks ago. They were lent to me by Lisa (one of the Japs), so I wore them all day with everyone laughing at me. Here's a picture of me modelling them with Yumiko (Dude! Chick! Hot! Bang! Totally!!!)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SST6Gl9ScfI/AAAAAAAAAHY/tSKG9-Wn5-k/s1600-h/minnie+bambi.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SST6Gl9ScfI/AAAAAAAAAHY/tSKG9-Wn5-k/s400/minnie+bambi.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270612455105655282" border="0" /></a>I believe this is what the Japanese call 'kawaii'.<br /><br />Lisa says she wants the ears back.<br /><br />BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!<br /><br />No.<br /><br />The bag of Yen came free with a bottle of tea I bought. Well, the bag came free. I had to provide the Yen, unfortunately. A bottle of tea had a strange small item attached to it, so I bought it out of curiosity. The small soft 'free gift' turned out to be a tiny (about 3" square), see-through yellow drawstring bag with a picture of Rilakkuma (Relax Bear. Rilakkusu means relax, kuma means bear. Rilakkusu + Kuma = Rilakkuma. Genius) on it. How utterly pointless, I thought at first, but then I realised that my pockets, desk and floor were overflowing with another achingly pointless item: 1 Yen coins. So I put my 1 Yen coins in the bag. Problem solved.<br /><br />Minnie and Micky shot glass. Another souvenir from DisneySea. For those dark, dark times, when the only thing that can cheer me up is shots of gin and a picture of Mickey Mouse.<br /><br />Finally there's the singing employment mouse. I can't quite remember where I got him, but if you squeeze his belly he tells you to go get a job.<br /><br />Well, not exactly, but it sounds better if I tell it that way. If you squeeze his belly he sings a little jingle which goes "If you're looking for part-time work, go to Baitoru.com". It's very irritating, and mind-numbingly catchy, and just thinking about it has got it stuck in my head again. Oh... God... Make... It... Stop...<br /><br />So those are the new contestants in the international Tat parade. I'd like to make a brief mention of Gachapin though. Gachapin, if you remember, is the one who says that giggling is good for your balls. It turns out he's some kind of Tom Cruise-esque action man super hero. And he has a friend who is a red yeti called Mukku. Here's proof.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_rVs78WV64E&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_rVs78WV64E&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />How fucking cool/ridiculous is that? I particularly enjoyed the bit at the end where he's burying a corpse... and then the freaky magnet people?<br /><br />*sigh* Somehow I can't help feeling that I'm more of a Mukku than a Gachapin...<br /><br />So what kind of fun stuff have I been doing for the last few weeks? Well, briefly (because I've been at this post for about 2 hours now), Simon (coursemate from Sheffield) came up to Tokyo for the weekend, which we used as an excuse for a larger Sheff-crew gathering. All told Me, Simon, Jimmy, Morrell, Lisa, Rachel, Katherine, Evie, Ildze, Morito and a couple of Catherine's friends whose names I sadly can't remember met up (apologies if I missed anyone out there). Food and booze was had with much merriment. There was also Karaoke and a Curry, I can't quite remember in what order these events occurred.<br /><br />Simon stayed with me the first night, and we had a day of doing some low-paced sightseeing which was nice. We had Okonomiyaki for lunch.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUGbDVSAhI/AAAAAAAAAHg/fpQcqcn7YMA/s1600-h/100_0497.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUGbDVSAhI/AAAAAAAAAHg/fpQcqcn7YMA/s400/100_0497.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270626000727835154" border="0" /></a>The one on the right is the one I made. The one on the left was Simon's...<br /><br />In his defence, mine was an okonomiyaki, ans his was a monjayaki, so we were working from rather different recipes, but I'm still not entirely convinced monjayaki is supposed to look like that...<br /><br />We then went up the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building,<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUGbrNLc3I/AAAAAAAAAHo/5UE41VVnPlg/s1600-h/100_0499.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUGbrNLc3I/AAAAAAAAAHo/5UE41VVnPlg/s400/100_0499.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270626011431269234" border="0" /></a>Which offers a very fine view of Tokyo,<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUGcN-iQjI/AAAAAAAAAHw/Z3kry-f_-Ec/s1600-h/100_0500.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUGcN-iQjI/AAAAAAAAAHw/Z3kry-f_-Ec/s400/100_0500.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270626020765090354" border="0" /></a>Although it was a little too hazy to see Mt. Fuji.<br /><br />Then there was DisneySea. A really fun day out, but the rides were all rather tame (well, it is for kids after all) and it was pretty expensive. There are tons of photos of it, but I can't quite be bothered to upload them here. If you've ever been to a Disney resort before it looked just like that. If you've never been to a Disney resort before, just imagine a 3D Disney film with me in it. The photos should make it on to Facebook eventually.<br /><br />At some stage later that week I went out to the English Pub. The Fish and Chips are pretty rubbish and the beer is very expensive, but cocktails are cheap and it looks like a pub, so it makes me feel at home. This started out as a pretty low-key, low-drunkenness event, just me and three Japanese girls (dudechickhotbang? Totally!), but more and more people turned up later on and I ended up in a fairly disgraceful state of inebriation. Happy hour is 4pm until 7pm, and all cocktails are half price. That makes it about £2 for a pint or so of G&T. Not good G&T (no ice, no slice), but a pint of it.<br /><br />Here's me earlier on in the night (don't let the blurriness of the photo or the droopiness of my eyes fool you - I was pretty sober).<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUJYrOsbTI/AAAAAAAAAH4/-Z2cu9NiMac/s1600-h/hub1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUJYrOsbTI/AAAAAAAAAH4/-Z2cu9NiMac/s400/hub1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270629258432900402" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Then the other Gaijin turned up, and the Japanese people questioned my abililty to drink a litre of beer.<br /><br />(Wilko, I drank this and thought of you)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUJZAAQC2I/AAAAAAAAAII/6uLx35VNils/s1600-h/100_0573.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUJZAAQC2I/AAAAAAAAAII/6uLx35VNils/s400/100_0573.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270629264009464674" border="0" /></a><br />Then I was quite drunk.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUJZXogcYI/AAAAAAAAAIQ/VN977aX5IbQ/s1600-h/100_0578.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUJZXogcYI/AAAAAAAAAIQ/VN977aX5IbQ/s400/100_0578.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270629270352327042" border="0" /></a><br />Then... well... I don't know to be honest. I like to think I was playing peek-a-boo with a child under the table. Or demonstrating the brace position for a plane crash. Hopefully not crying.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUJY94DZNI/AAAAAAAAAIA/Gg810sNx4lA/s1600-h/hub2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SSUJY94DZNI/AAAAAAAAAIA/Gg810sNx4lA/s400/hub2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270629263438210258" border="0" /></a>Actually, I think I might have just hit my head. That seems the most plausible explanation. That would also explain the headache I had the next day...<br /><br />Onwards and onwards and I've been at school, studying hard. I've started going to the Gym (I've lost about a stone, I think, which is nice). Yada yada yada.<br /><br />Believe it or not Ive been writing this thing for about 3 hours now, so you'll forgive me if my patience is starting to run out.<br /><br />I've also written an article for Article (my friend Dunmore's magazine that he prints in Sheffield). Keep your eyes peeled for it in paper format if you live in the Steel City, otherwise there will be an online edition at some stage too.<br /><br />I have to go now - my vision is starting to blur and I'm starting to suffer from typist's headache, not to mention diarist's ear and blogger's ballbag - but before I do, I would like to leave you with a few more words from Gachapin. In fact, a whole song from Gachapin. It's called Tabechauzo (Eat it up!), and I find there's something amazingly creepy about it.<br /><br />Lyrics in Japanese:<br /><p><span class="highlight">たべちゃうぞ</span><span class="highlight">たべちゃうぞ</span> いたずらする子は<span class="highlight">たべちゃうぞ</span> </p> <p>バターたっぷりぬりつけて お砂糖ぱらぱらふりかけて </p> <p>大きな大きな口あけて 食べる子どの子 どの子にしようか </p> <p>じゃんけんぽんよ勝ったら食べろ 負けたら逃げろ</p> <p> </p> <p><span class="highlight">たべちゃうぞ</span><span class="highlight">たべちゃうぞ</span> おなべにゆでて<span class="highlight">たべちゃうぞ</span> </p> <p>頭の方からなげこんで まだまだぐらぐらぐつぐつ </p> <p>おいしいスープのできあがり 食べる子どの子 どの子にしようか </p> <p>じゃんけんぽんよ勝ったら食べろ 負けたら逃げろ</p> <p> </p> <p><span class="highlight">たべちゃうぞ</span><span class="highlight">たべちゃうぞ</span> 眠ってる間に<span class="highlight">たべちゃうぞ</span> </p> <p>おもちゃ大事にしない子は 壊れた自動車汽車怪獣 </p> <p>仕返しやってくる夢の中 食べる子どの子 どの子にしようか </p> <p>じゃんけんぽんよ勝ったら食べろ 負けたら逃げろ </p> <p>じゃんけんぽんよ勝ったら食べろ 負けたら逃げろ</p>Lyrics in English (I can only be bothered to translate the first verse):<br /><br />Eat it up! Eat it up! Naughty children eat it up!<br />With butter spread thickly on it and sugar sprinkled on top,<br />Open your big big mouth - which child will eat it, which will it be?<br />We'll rock, paper, scissors for it: if you win, you eat, if you lose, run away!<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rJIFramIKZE&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rJIFramIKZE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />God that was creepy.<br /><br />I've got some other stuff I might like to write, but I can't be bothered right now, so hopefully you won't have to wait quite so long for the next post.<br /><br />Let's making happy! You are number one biggest friend and always filling your love!<br />Genghis xxxGenghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-58958014355074627992008-11-06T06:44:00.000-08:002008-11-06T06:50:02.526-08:00Genghis Kong vs. Barack ObamaAs some of you may have heard, Barack Obama just won the US presidential elections.<br /><br />I felt I ought to do something to mark the occasion, so I am writing this brief congratulatory message. To properly convey my jubilation at this moment, I am enlisting the help of the Anyone Brothers Band and their recent song Obama is Beautiful World, recorded especially for these elections.<br /><br />I hope you will enjoy the beautiful music, high production values, excellent use of correct English grammar and well-choreographed dance routines which can be seen in this truly breathtaking music video.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fRB2wFhXIPs&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fRB2wFhXIPs&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Peace, love and Yes We Can,<br />Jeng xxxGenghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-70759832854103305062008-10-30T23:08:00.000-07:002008-10-31T01:37:18.548-07:00Genghis Kong vs. Jimmy Van HalenJapanese television is, without exception, utterly crap. Every aspect of Japanese TV production is indescribably woeful in every possible way. However, sometimes it manages to be such utter, utter crap that it accidentally becomes genius.<br /><br />Terebi dorama (Television drama) are extremely popular in Japan. These are more-or-less like soap operas, except that they're utterly farcical. None of the actors have a shred of talent, the plots are retarded, the production values are low and everything is so over-acted, over-dramatised and generally overdone that it becomes laughable. In fact, they can become hilarious.<br /><br />I've just been watching a wonderful dorama entitled Yamaonna, Kabeonna (mountain woman, wall woman), in which a flat-chested saleswoman (wall woman) gets a new employee on her salesteam who has enormous breasts (mountain woman). Wall Woman is envious of mountain woman's rack, and hilarity ensues. In todays episode the department chief of the department store where they work didn't feel like eating his potato croquettes, so Mountain Woman had some. Unfortunately, Department Chief suffers from erectile dysfunction so his wife had laced his croquettes with some kind of drug to encourage his libido (I didn't quite catch what it was that she put in the croquettes, but it sounded like "spong", so I'm going to go with that). Mountain Woman reacted strangely to the spong, going into a super-hard-working frenzy of smiles, enthusiasm and efficiency, and was so impressed with them that she shared them with her section chief. He also went into a berserk spong-fury, and at the end of the day he charged off to some classy hostess bar with his colleagues to exercise his love muscle. There he bumped into limp-dicked Department Chief (his boss) with much embarassment but they end up sitting together with their girls for a while. Later on, who should appear on the stage dressed as Elvis but their company president (!) to much embarassment/amusement all round.<br /><br />Meanwhile, Wall Woman has been invited to Mountain Woman's house for dinner, and Wall Woman is trying to work out how to make her boobs bigger. She is surprised to discover that Mountain Woman's mother has tiny breasts, so she decides that it must be something dietary. Mountain Woman eats a lot of pickles, so Wall Woman starts gorging on mama's special pickles in an effort to grow her breasts. Later on, Mountain Woman's grandmother comes home. Grandmother also has enormous great big boobs, and when she sits down to eat with them she has to lift her breasts up and rest them on the table. Cue slow-motion soft-focus close up of old lady boobs as Wall Woman gazes transfixed by them.<br /><br />Wall woman offers Gran some pickles, but Gran declines, saying she never eats them. Damn, thinks Wall Woman, if its not the pickles, then what is it? I transpires that Mother (flat-chest) never drinks, but Wall Woman and Granny both drink like fish, so Wall Woman decides that the only way for her to get bigger boobs is to get amazingly drunk.<br /><br />Oh, and at some point Mountain Woman was hospitalised by falling objects. I don't quite know how that fits in with the rest of it.<br /><br />I can't quite tell whether the show ended there or whether I got bored and changed the channel, but that's about as far as I got.<br /><br />Here's a little picture (that's Wall Woman and the left, Mountain Woman on the right):<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SQqmk1qlzvI/AAAAAAAAAGI/GKWS3chRiHI/s1600-h/400px-Yama-Onna-Kabe-Onna-banner.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 233px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SQqmk1qlzvI/AAAAAAAAAGI/GKWS3chRiHI/s400/400px-Yama-Onna-Kabe-Onna-banner.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263202266347065074" border="0" /></a>And if you found my plot synopsis a little confusing, here's a handy chart to explain things more easily:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SQqmlHPhy7I/AAAAAAAAAGQ/wZAgxrfYZso/s1600-h/Yama-Onna-Kabe-Onna-chart.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 407px; height: 214px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SQqmlHPhy7I/AAAAAAAAAGQ/wZAgxrfYZso/s400/Yama-Onna-Kabe-Onna-chart.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263202271065394098" border="0" /></a>Does that make it a little clearer? Good.<br /><br />I'll try and watch it regularly and keep you all up-to-date with the fascinating goings-on. I'm sure you're all desperate to find out what happens next.<br /><br />Guess who I met last night?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SQqox3nWxvI/AAAAAAAAAGY/YEhEZsp08O8/s1600-h/100_0487.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SQqox3nWxvI/AAAAAAAAAGY/YEhEZsp08O8/s400/100_0487.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263204689231922930" border="0" /></a>JIMMY VAN HALEN! There he is, looking sexy. What a god. He's like a walking chunk of sex. He's like a little fleck of sex wee stuck to the bedhead in a love hotel. He is the worlds tallest sperm and the most fertile man in all of Asia.<br /><br />For those of you who don't already know him, this is my friend Jimmy. We lived together last year and throughout first year we terrorised many karaoke events. We're karaoke terrorists. We turn up and we blow everyone away, but most of the time we also get killed in the blast.<br /><br />Unfortunately, there were too many of us last night to all fit in one karaoke room, and we decided that it was only fair that we share the love evenly, so Jimmy was in one room and I was in the other. I was in this room:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SQqoydmEP7I/AAAAAAAAAGg/dqn2y_C105A/s1600-h/100_0476.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SQqoydmEP7I/AAAAAAAAAGg/dqn2y_C105A/s400/100_0476.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263204699427061682" border="0" /></a>That's right. All-you-can-drink karaoke with women dressed as Pikachu. Isn't Japan an awesome country? I don't even know who these women are, but I think one of them was called Ashley. Perhaps. (The chick in the middle was cute. Dude, I totally should have banged her.)<br /><br />So me and Jimmy were in separate rooms, but we were able to get together for an absolutely storming, foot-stamping, screaming shouting rendition of that Karaoke classic, Dschinghis Khan (by Dschinghis Khan), to rapturous applause and wide-eyed terror. I'm also pretty chuffed with myself because I totally out-karaokeed a Japanese host guy at a Japanese song. Hosts (like a hostess, but a man) are pretty much trained to be good at karaoke. It's part of their job. And yet I Karaoke Blasted him right out of the water, even singing in Japanese.<br /><br />Incidentally, the hosts that were there last night were off-duty. They weren't getting paid to hang out with us, they wanted to hang out with us because we're cool. Actually, they wanted to hang out with Lisa because they think she's cool, and I just happened to be in the same place at the same time.<br /><br />We also met up with Rachel and Lisa from Sheffield so it was almost like a mini-reunion. Tomorrow, though, I think we're having a much larger-scale Sheffo get-together, possibly in fancy dress ('tis Hallowe'en, after all), which should be jolly.<br /><br />Last weekend I went to 'camp'. I don't know whether I've already mentioned the IFL, but I feel I ought to. The International Friendly Lunch is a very camply-named club at Rikkyo University which aims to befriend and make welcome foreign exchange students, and they organise loads of stuff (mostly drinking parties). They also organised a camp for us, which involved booking a lodge near a river and then doing a barbecue and drinking party. They picked a very beautiful spot out in Saitama, about an hour and a half away from where I live:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SQqoyjzeVFI/AAAAAAAAAGo/kGATa0mStN0/s1600-h/100_0459.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SQqoyjzeVFI/AAAAAAAAAGo/kGATa0mStN0/s400/100_0459.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263204701093909586" border="0" /></a><br />You can just see the first hints of Autumn on the leaves. You can also see that there's a river.<br />River + Drunkeness =<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SQqozLyKewI/AAAAAAAAAGw/NOQu0Gx1z9k/s1600-h/100_0466.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SQqozLyKewI/AAAAAAAAAGw/NOQu0Gx1z9k/s400/100_0466.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263204711825832706" border="0" /></a>Male nudity! Yay!<br /><br />I, unfortunately, was not on top form for this event. I had exhausted myself from getting excessively wasted the night before and having spent the night telling a racist to stop being so racist at great length, I had slept very little. Thus I was sleepy and hungover and grumpy, so I wimped out and went to bed around midnight, although I believe the party continued until the very weeest and smalles of the wee small hours.<br /><br />It was this episode - where I somehow managed to fuck up getting drunk at a drinking party by drinking - that caused me to pause and reconsider my lifestyle, and ultimately to decide to "detox".<br /><br />On the subject of the detox, I am not doing too badly. My not-drinking lasted precisely as long as I thought it would (3 days), but I have been out drinking twice, surrounded by smoking people and still have not smoked, which I guess is a good thing. I have also not drunk any coffee, although I have had one or two cups of green tea. So I'm still a drunk, but I don't seem to be a smoker any more, which is strange. Strange in a good way, I suppose, but definitely strange.<br /><br />To follow up on another point from my last post: I asked her out. She said no.<br /><br />D'oh!<br /><br />(Notice the new picture at the top of the blog)<br /><br />I've got a week's holiday now - no school until Thursday next, although I believe I have mid-term exams on Thursday, which sucks a bit. A lot of people have gone off travelling to exciting places, but I decided to stay around and not do a great deal. This way I can conserve money, study lots and I've also got a chance to meet up with the Sheffield crew which is nice. On Tuesday I'm going to Disneysea, too, which should be fun.<br /><br />I'm going to leave you with this delicious song by MGMT, because I think its awesome and I've slightly fallen in love with the weird face-painty girl in the video.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bIEOZCcaXzE&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bIEOZCcaXzE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Hugzzzz<br />Genghis xxGenghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-42124565104801731452008-10-28T02:31:00.000-07:002008-10-28T05:20:44.828-07:00Genghis Kong vs. ToxAs those of you who pay any attention to my Facebook may already know, I am attempting some kind of "detox" regime type thing. I put that in inverted commas because a true detox implies that you lay off the "toxes" long enough for it to make an appreciable difference to your health, whereas that was never really my goal. Indeed I don't really know what my actual goal is, but I've decided not to drink alcohol or caffeine or to smoke for the time being.<br /><br />I think I'm going to crack on the drinking first - I'm meeting up with my cousins husband tomorrow night to show him around Tokyo and I wouldn't be surprised if he might want to go somewhere for a drink later on. Failing that I have also been invited to a drinking party last night, and I have specific plans (written in my diary and everything) to go the pub with a bunch of girls on Thursday night (wa-hey!). So, while I can quite happily not drink if I don't go out and don't see anyone, I'm not sure how easily I can spend an evening in a pub without drinking. I'm not even sure I'd want to.<br /><br />As for smoking, I'm not too sure. The two main factors which would make me want to smoke would be hanging around smokers and drinking, but the people I drink with don't tend to be the same peaople that I smoke with, so we'll have to wait and see how long I can hold out. Again, I haven't even decided that I actually really really want to quit for good, but I guess I'll take it as a little challenge to see how long I can go.<br /><br />Caffeine just seemed to complete the set. Also, I like to smoke with a cup of coffee, so it seemed wise to get rid of that too. I've got to say though, I do look amazingly cool when I'm sitting in a little cafe on the street, Haruki Murakami novel in one hand, hand-rolled cigarette in the other and a steaming cup of black coffee on my table in front of me. Honestly, I am so kakkoii (Japanese for "totally fucking cool") it makes passers-by stop in amazement and break down weeping with uncontainable eye-joy at the sight of me. But I guess I'm going to have to give up that particular hobby.<br /><br />"But why," I hear you cry, "have you decided to go on a detox all of sudden? You who are reknowned as a great lover of tox, and in many situations you are defined by your great tox intake - surely, without tox you are not even the same man? How can you turn your back on the tox which has been so good to you all these years?"<br /><br />Well, in actual fact the tox hasn't been so good to me all these years. It has made me very fat and unhealthy and this is all part of a grander get-fit regime with which I am hoping to persevere throughout my time in Japan. The university gave me a health check-up for their insurance and things, and it turned out than in my first month here I lost about half a stone without making any effort towards healthiness whatsoever, so i felt I ought to try and capitalise on that gain. However, I think that early weight loss was entirely thanks to muscle atrophy and malnutrition - if anyone has ever told you that the Japanese diet is amazingly healthy, they were lying. The Japanese diet consists primarily of a large bowl of rice with a thin scraping of salty and/or deep-fried flavour smeared across the top of it. Most of their food is deep fried.<br /><br />Of course, I'm being unfair. What i'm describing is cheap Japanese food, i.e. the food they serve in the cafeteria at school, and the only food I can afford most of the time. Of course there's all sorts of other things - delicious noodles, sushi, grilled meat and chicken things, a wide range of fish both cooked and raw and an unimaginable variety of seaweeds, tofus and pickled things. However, it is extraordinarily difficult to find vegetables in anything more than a garnishing capacity (unless those vegetables are pickled or deep-fried), so I have given up on the cafeteria food, and on eating out most nights. Instead I stay in, lift weights, and eat vast quantities of salad and vegetables. Blam. Incidentally, if you think its odd that I said I've given up eating out most nights, that's because in Tokyo it's usually cheaper to eat out than to stay in, especially if you want to eat interesting and varied food which tends to cost a fortune from the supermarket.<br /><br />Another reason for my "detox" is that I have been having problems with sleeping. I don't know whether it's a very delayed jet-lag, whether its dietary, psychological or pituitary but its indescribably frustrating. I sleep for a reasonable amount of time each night, wake up the same time each morning, but I spend the first 10 or more hours of each day in a dazed, semi-conscious stupor. There's a thick, heavy foggy feeling in my head, my eyes feel gummy and its difficult to focus on anything, and anytime I sit down somewhere even slightly warm, quiet or comfortable (for example lessons, library or anytime I try to study) I start to nod off almost instantly. My vision blurs, my eyelids droop, I lose track of what's being said and gradually half-formed fragments of dream begin to form around the periphery of consciousness until all of a sudden I jerk awake again to realise that whatever notes I had been taking have trailed off into a squiggly line culminating in the words 'hitler clown' and I have absolutely no idea what the lecturer is talking about. And the lecturer has just asked me a question. It's deeply, deeply frustrating and annoying. I feel retarded or disabled or something, being completely incapable of even basic cognitive functions for most of the day. Around six or seven I perk up again, my mind is clear, I can focus, study, do whatever, but when it comes time to go to bed I'm still awake, alert and not sleepy.<br /><br />So anyway, I figured that a peculiar daily cocktail of stimulants and depressants probably wasn't actually improving my sleep in the long run, so I'm cutting them out to see what happens. So far, I've been sleepier than ever, but I guess these things take time.<br /><br />The final reason for my "detox" plan is, basically, that there's a girl I like and she doesn't smoke, rarely drinks and is very sporty, so essentially I'm just trying to impress her.<br /><br />But this is all getting a little heavy, is it not? What other, lighter topics can i ramble on about.<br /><br />Forthcoming exciting events:<br />I've got a week's holiday from Thursday this week until Wednesday next, so i'm hoping to meet up with some the Sheffield crew during this time (probably for more drinkies)<br />I'm going to DisneySea on Tuesday (like DisneyLand, but they sell beer)<br /><br />That's about it for the moment. I'm sorry if this post has seemed less light-hearted and mirthful than previous ones, but hopefully the next one will be a riotous party of joy, colour, photographs and music.<br /><br />And I can't even think of an amusing song with which to sign off. Oh, you'll have to make do with a song which is just good then, I'm afraid.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/68KLZCVFDQI&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/68KLZCVFDQI&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />(Damn, you can tell I'm smitten, picking a song like that. Quality song though)<br /><br />Love and love,<br />GenghisGenghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-9856590914535050082008-10-15T06:00:00.000-07:002008-10-15T07:48:11.690-07:00Genghis Kong vs. Tokyo University Baseball TeamGo team!<br /><br />Everybody ready now? Sing it loud!<br /><br />St. Paul's will shine tonight,<br />St. Paul's will shine!<br />St. Paul's will shine tonight,<br />St. Paul's will shine!<br />The sun will go down<br />and the moon will come up<br />and tonight St. Paul's will Shine!<br /><br />Go-o-o-o-o-o-o RIKKYO!<br /><br />I went to a baseball game on Saturday, to support my university's team (Rikkyo University, also known as St. Paul's University) against Tokyo University. It was absolutely awesome. Aside from the actual baseball (which was pretty good, actually. It's not such a bad sport after all) the cheerleading squad was absolutely berserk. I mean, of course, there were pretty girls in little shorts waving pompoms, but it was the cheer<span style="font-style: italic;">boys</span> which made the most lasting impression on me. Now before you all go off thinking I've turned gay, let me show you a little of what I'm talking about - this was a relatively sedate moment in the cheerleading proceedings:<br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzPLLxwxyeaRLgyP9gdDmBx4m-dyh1KWr1nDE92pbC1wWMi88aZK99SP3cDEU7EveOUfJPj_cSFqeK39pnrHA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />As I say, this is not them at their most crazy - this was pretty early in the match, nothing had really happened yet. You should have seen them when we scored!<br /><br />So it was a truly fascinating experience - at first the cheerleaders were just so loud and crazy that I was scarcely aware of any baseball going on. Also, all the cheers are in Japanese, and everyone is expected to join in, but of course I don't know any of the cheers or songs so at first it was deeply confusing and, honestly, quite terrifying. Not to mention slightly embarassing - the only bits of what they were shouting that I understood were "Okay everybody, let's really make some noise! 1, 2, 3..." and then they'd shout something I had no idea what, and look at us (all Gaijin where we were sat) expectantly, as if to say "why aren't you cheering?".<br /><br />Gradually though, I worked out what *most* of the cheers were (still no clue about the songs though), and once I had worked out what they were saying I also realised that they were actually cheering <span style="font-style: italic;">in response</span> to events happening in the game, so i was able to follow the cheers and the baseball simultaneously. I don't mind admitting that I possibly got slightly <span style="font-style: italic;">too</span> into it - jumping up and down, screaming and hollering. They gave us all purple megaphone/noisy cone things when we went in, and by the time I came out mine was hopelessly mangled from over-vigorous clapping, waving and punching the air. I probably should have kept it for the shelf of tat.<br /><br />I think I might have to start going to these things regularly. All I need now is to pick a professional team to support, then I can go to baseball all the time! Also, this has given me a new ambition for my time in Japan (I'll add it to my mission statement later): to become a cheerleader! I think it would take rather a lot of training though - those crazy bastards didn't stop for 2 1/2 hours - screaming, running around, shouting, waving their arms, shouting, waving flags, shouting... It was mad, and more than little bit frightening.<br /><br />On a totally unrelated topic - I just ate one of the finest beer snacks I've ever encountered in all my days. I had a stick of spicy salami with little pieces of cheese <span style="font-style: italic;">inside</span> the salami! They've combined 2 of the finest foods available (I combined that with the finest beverage available) to create something truly awe-inspiring. Verily, my friends, this is indeed the land of the future.<br /><br />Ah... cheese... how I miss thee. Sweet yellow maiden of the curds, how richly and tangily you play across my beer-soaked tongue... Oh, but that I had the money I should dine upon your delights daily, but no. It cannot be. For your prices here are grossly inflated beyond even those of The Fine Cheese Co. and I shall have to content myself by listlessly wandering the food courts of high-class department stores, subsisting on nought but the meagre morsels proffered me on cocktail sticks by nubile young Japanese cheese-maidens. *sigh*<br /><br />Yes, cheese here is obscenely expensive - £8-£15 for about 100-150g of decent cheese? I think not. Why would you spend so frivolously on cheese when you can buy packets of dried squid strings or pig's ear cartilage for less than a pound?<br /><br />Damn this country and it's freaky beer snacks.<br /><br />Okay - what else have I got for you...<br /><br />Ooh! Shelf of tat! I've got a new addition!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPXzWpfrCnI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/ec2zaAPF1sQ/s1600-h/100_0430.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPXzWpfrCnI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/ec2zaAPF1sQ/s400/100_0430.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5257375710446291570" border="0" /></a>I won it from a UFO catcher machine (one of those robotic-crane grab-a-stuffed-toy machines) at the bowling alley on Saturday. I didn't know what it was. I didn't even want it, particularly, but it was really close to the edge and loads of my friends were trying to get it. I finally knocked it off, so I get to keep it. Ha!<br /><br />(The Battleship Yamato beer mug isn't in the picture because I'm drinking from it, I'm afraid)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPXzXHMjsoI/AAAAAAAAAFY/-YqmZGDVhEk/s1600-h/100_0432.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPXzXHMjsoI/AAAAAAAAAFY/-YqmZGDVhEk/s400/100_0432.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5257375718419182210" border="0" /></a>This is its little label, which says that it's called Devi Gachapin, it's a Super Deluxe Lazy-Style Soft Toy. The red thing is presumably his friend, and is called Devi Mukku. Devi Gachapin has a little speach bubble which says うふふ、たまにはいいな~.This means "it's good to giggle once in a while", but I think it can also be read as "giggling is good for your balls". Perhaps that's just my dirty mind, but I like it better that way.<br /><br />I'm kind of sleepy, so I'll run through the rest of my news as swiftly as I can be bothered. On Thursday night I went out for conveyor-belt sushi. They had some whale on the menu, so how could I possibly not have ordered it? Whale meat is very definitely <span style="font-style: italic;">meat</span>. Not Fish. It's dark red and fibrous, and looks like well-hung steak. The texture is soft but slightly stringy and the taste, well, to be honest, it came with a big heap of grated raw ginger on top of it, so i couldn't really tell, but it was good. I will order it again.<br /><br />Friday was also pretty fun. I went and caught a Kabuki play with Lars (Danish guy). Photography was forbidden in the theatre, but here's a photo of the theatre itself, which is nonetheless pretty cool, and a poster outside which tells you which actors are playing there.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPX3PvraqyI/AAAAAAAAAFg/huGtJxGyxXo/s1600-h/100_0405.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPX3PvraqyI/AAAAAAAAAFg/huGtJxGyxXo/s400/100_0405.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5257379989893589794" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPX3QJhMccI/AAAAAAAAAFo/T8gFZqGDoa0/s1600-h/100_0404.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPX3QJhMccI/AAAAAAAAAFo/T8gFZqGDoa0/s400/100_0404.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5257379996830036418" border="0" /></a><br />Kabuki was cool, but I was too stingy/though too much of my own Japanese ability to bother buying one of the English language commentary earpieces, so i had very little idea of what was going on. Fortunately Lars did buy one, so he was able to fill me in on the plot details. I won't bore you with all of them, but, of course, like any good Japanese love story it had a happy ending - He was executed, She killed herself.<br /><br />After Kabuki we went to one of my favourite places in all of Tokyo - しょんべん横町 (Piss Alley). Piss Alley is a couple of tiny sidestreets just 3 minutes walk from the busiest train station in Tokyo in within sight of dozens of enormous skyscrapers and business districts. Everything nearby is glass and steel and massive and worth billions, and yet Piss Alley persists; 2 tiny sidestreets lined on both sides by nothing but incredibly small Yakitori shops. Yakitori is essentially little bits of chicken on a stick, grilled over an open charcoal fire. It's among the finest foods the world has ever produced. It also goes extremely well with beer, so what's not to love?<br /><br />Me and Lars had some chicken, and lots of beer. Then we each had a bowl of the shop's "speciality" stew. It was a very spicy broth which had floating in it lots of Konnyaku (a kind of grey jelly made out of the heads of bullrushes), chicken kidneys (I think) and something which was either tripe or just big pieces of chicken skin. It was a disreputable looking agglomeration of off-cuts and flotsam, but somehow it was actually really good. Here are some photos.<br /><br />Me enjoying yakitori.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPX3QiRREKI/AAAAAAAAAFw/DLKFwMUVZlc/s1600-h/100_0411.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPX3QiRREKI/AAAAAAAAAFw/DLKFwMUVZlc/s400/100_0411.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5257380003474116770" border="0" /></a><br />This was literally the entire shop.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPX3RXrivNI/AAAAAAAAAGA/MUA8S42Fl7Y/s1600-h/100_0416.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPX3RXrivNI/AAAAAAAAAGA/MUA8S42Fl7Y/s400/100_0416.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5257380017811406034" border="0" /></a><br />And this is Piss Alley itself.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPX3RBJrV6I/AAAAAAAAAF4/wJm43NA8yMc/s1600-h/100_0415.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SPX3RBJrV6I/AAAAAAAAAF4/wJm43NA8yMc/s400/100_0415.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5257380011763783586" border="0" /></a><br />I think Friday ended up with us going into some bar near where we live only to find it was populated entirely by old Japanese women singing Karaoke. Undaunted, we stayed for a beer and sang some karaoke with them. I was awesome. I mean, seriously, I was absolutely fucking awesome. I think I'm so good at karaoke it actually takes the fun out of it sometimes.<br /><br />Saturday was baseball, upon which I have already spoken at length. That evening we went for a drinking party with the Japanese members of the college of business. It was cool, but I'm still (<span style="font-style: italic;">still</span>) struggling with this whole chatting-with-Japs thing. They're just a little difficult to approach. It's awkward. I've come to the conclusion that my Japanese isn't actually that bad (I have this bar I go to when I'm really drunk to practice my Japanese - I'm so good at it when I'm drunk!), but I still find it a bit awkward to talk to them. I think they're just not very good conversationalists. Whatever - it's definitely their fault and not mine. Definitely.<br /><br />Now this is the bit I really don't understand. We had a drinking party and a meal. We had all-you-can-drink for 2 hours and lots of food all for £15 (pretty good, no?) but that finished at 9, and then we went bowling and everyone stopped drinking! I don't get it. Surely you would bowl first (while sober) and then get drunk. And if you're at a drinking party where you can drink all you want for 2 hours, why would you then go to do a sport (not a real sport) which requires you to be sober and not to drink? I don't get it. People here are crazy.<br /><br />Everyone went clubbing after, but clubs in Japan are really sleazy and expensive, so I wandered off to my friendly bar on my own where I got into a discussion (in Japanese) about the nature of race and prejudice and how the old-fashioned white/black/yellow division is really very outdated and inaccurate. I guess i must secretly be able to speak Japanese, but it doesn't come out until I'm really drunk. Incidentally, it wasn't me that described Japanese people as yellow, it was the Japanese guy I was talking to. It took me a moment to work out what he was saying, because Yellow in Japanese is the same word, but it comes out as "ieroo". Damn Japs with their crazy moonspeak.<br /><br />Gah. That's just about all the bloggery I can manage right now. I think it's a pretty decent offering though. Should keep you all happy for a little while.<br /><br />I'll leave you with this: There is a children's TV program in Japan called Pythagoras Switch (or Pitagora Suicchi, in Japanese) and this is a compilation of its intro sequences, which are amongst the best things ever. All of them are made for real, with no digital trickery whatsoever. If you YouTube "Pythagoras Switch" you'll probably find loads more, many of them made by tiny Japanese children. Enjoy.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5U_cOCnftAQ&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5U_cOCnftAQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Hot hot sex,<br />GengaGenghis<br /><br />PS. I'm sure I was going to write a PS. but I've forgotten what it was going to be.<br /><br />PPS. Oh yeah. Thank you all for your concern - my eye seems to be better now. I think possibly spending too much time at my computer was the trigger of this attack of twitchiness.<br /><br />PPPS. Keep commenting! I can't tell you how much it means to me. I die a little inside every time I log to on and there's no new comments.<br /><br />PPPPS. GOOD BYEB!Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-18292794678781108502008-10-13T19:38:00.000-07:002008-10-13T19:48:14.125-07:00Genghis Kong vs. Japanese Internet ProvidersSadly, the internet at my dormitory has died. It died on Saturday and Monday was a national holiday so the dorm manager hasn`t been in all weekend, so I haven`t had any internet for ages! I am now in the University media library where they do have internets, but their keyboards are all confusing and messed up, and none of my photos are here, so I can`t be doing a proper post here. This is a shame because I`ve been up to lots and lots of exciting things this weekend. A brief summary for you:<br /><ul><li>I ate raw whale meat at a rotating sushi bar</li><li>I went to see a Kabuki play</li><li>I ate Yakitori in Piss Alley</li><li>I sang karaoke in a strange little bar with old, old Japanese women</li><li>I went to a University baseball game</li><li>I went to a drinking party</li><li>I went bowling</li><li>I sat in my room on my own drinking beer and playing StarCraft for hours</li></ul><p>So as you can see, there is lots for me to write about, but it`ll have to wait until my computer situation gets back to normal. Hopefully when I go home this afternoon the manager will have already fixed it, and it`ll be business as usual chez Kong.</p><p>On another (unrelated) note, do you ever get that weird thing when your eyelid spasms a little bit? You know, the weird twitching sensation that doesn`t hurt at all but is really really annoying? I`ve had that in my left eye for 5 days now. I`m starting to lose my patience/my mind. It`s intensely irritating and distracting.</p><p>Well, anyhoo, must run. More Genghis goodness coming up shortly, hopefully.</p><p>Ta-ra for now,</p><p>Geng x</p>Genghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2082213563315046673.post-12430485627888427762008-10-06T01:08:00.000-07:002008-10-06T04:28:25.570-07:00Genghis Kong vs. StudyingHello fans!<br /><br />Long time no speaky! How are you all doing?<br /><br />Yes, it's been more than a week since last we spoke. I apologise. The fault is entirely my own. It's just that I've been rather busy, you see? Mostly with schoolwork, as it happens. Somebody told me that Japanese University is really easy, which it may turn out to be, but you have to do an awful lot of work - I have homework due in every single day of the week! Having said that, the homework is mostly pretty easy, but still, it means I have to spend a lot of time actually working and studying, which is a rather novel experience for me.<br /><br />But apart from busy I've also been rather lazy, and rather short of exciting things to write about - in a remarkably short space of time living in Japan has become my everyday, run-of-the-mill routine, so it hardly seems worth writing about to me. There are, of course, still plenty of things which make me scratch my head in disbelief though.<br /><br />For example: On Saturday evening I was walking through Ikebukuro station, quietly minding my own business, when a little Jap came running up to me from behind and, without offering any explanation, started humming a peculiar little tune at me, whilst waving some strange book in my face. I looked at him blankly (I was taken totally unprepared and didn't even have time to use a Gaijin Optic Blast), and, grinning, he simply continued to hum his little tune and point purposefully at the book he held. The look in his eyes told me he was expecting something - some kind of recognition or sign of understanding from me, but I was (understandably) baffled, and din't know what to say to him.<br /><br />I told him I didn't understand, and I could see his spirits fall. He continued with his tune, but his face had taken on a timorous caste, his eyes pleading for me to validate this little performance, but I didn't know how. With a shrug of my shoulders, his hopes were crushed. His song trailed off and, lowering the book, he apologised, and scuttled away with a look of absolute mortification on his face. I was left bewildered, and felt more than a little sorry for the man, who clearly wanted to tell me something, but I had failed to understand him.<br /><br />The book he was waving at me was written all in Japanese so I didn't really understand it, but it had a picture of King of the Hill on one page.<br /><br />"I don't suppose," I asked one of my friends with whom I was walking, "that that tune he was humming was the King of the Hill theme tune, was it?"<br /><br />"Yeah, actually I think it was..."<br /><br />Then it dawned on me. This peculiar little man had been trying to tell me, through the medium of humming and pointing, that I look like Hank out of King of the Hill! What an absolute cunt! I mean, sure, I was wearing jeans, a white T-Shirt and glasses, but still - you don't go up to a complete stranger and tell him he looks like a fat, drunk, middle-aged, depressing, American cartoon propane salesman! What a complete and utter bastard!<br /><br />I'm never going out wearing a plain white T-shirt again.<br /><br />I think I might buy myself a T-Shirt with "Honey is the Intense Fanny" written on it instead. That'd be good, wouldn't it? Luckily, some clever Japanese clothing designer has already manufactured such a T-shirt! I kid you not - "Honey is the Intense Fanny". On a T-shirt.<br /><br />Other than being harassed by unpleasant little yellow folk in underground stations, I have been settling in to the rather humdrum business of daily life - not that I'm saying that's a bad thing. We can all benefit from a bit of regularity in our lives (as well as in our digestion).<br /><br />I have class first period every day, so I'm up at 7am every morning. I haven't quite worked out what people eat for breakfast in this country, and after several deeply disappointing experiments with Japanese bacon, I have more or less given up, so for breakfast I have a bowl of Miso soup and a glass of tomato juice. No, this is not a satisfying breakfast, but it's better than Japanese bacon, and I can't be bothered to start grilling fish at 7 o'clock in the morning. So, I spend my first lesson (which is always Japanese language) with crippling hunger pains, but it's okay because at 10.30 class finishes and I can go to the cafeteria for a very early lunch.<br /><br />Cafeteria food is pretty tasty to be honest, but in a deeply unsubtle way. It features pretty prominently deep-fried things and curry sauce, which is always a winning combination.<br /><br />3 days out of 5, first period is also my last class, leaving me with a LOT of spare time on my hands. So far I haven't really found a productive way to fill it although i do study a bit. Its also kind of hard to come up with fun things to do on your own in the middle of the day for free/cheap, but quite often I go and sit in a coffee shop and read a book, which is perfectly pleasant.<br /><br />The rest of the day is usually frittered away watching TV, playing computer games, learning Kanji, studying, frittering, cooking, eating, chilling etc etc blah blah blah. Japanese TV, by the way, is rubbish. I swear there are no hyper-violent or ridiculous game shows, just strange people doing strange things I don't understand, or answering incredibly easy questions wrong on TV game shows (there was one game show where the contestants were invited to answer questions based on the year 3 curriculum. Some of them scored, like, 20% or less). But watching Sumo is pretty funny.<br /><br />I saw a real live sumo wrestler the other day. He wobbled in all kinds of amusing ways. Lol.<br /><br />I haven't really been taking that many pictures lately, I'm afraid. Wherever I go there seem to be at least 15 other people with cameras, so I sort of feel, why should I bother - the pictures are gonna be on Facebook soon anyway - but here's a nice one of me and a load of people sitting in a place.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SOnQtR4ykmI/AAAAAAAAAEs/OJNFjHWiXno/s1600-h/100_0403.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yGONzN01bXM/SOnQtR4ykmI/AAAAAAAAAEs/OJNFjHWiXno/s400/100_0403.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5253959916618682978" border="0" /></a><br />Isn't that lovely? Yes it is.<br /><br />I feel I'm rather running out of steam for this post - I'll get back t you when I think of some more interesting stuff to say. For now, I'm hungry, so I'm gonna go make some food.<br /><br />Until next time, then,<br /><br />Ooh, oooh I<br />Ooh, oooh I<br />Ooh, oooh I,<br />I just know that something good is gonna happen<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/eUxhNWDlGts&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/eUxhNWDlGts&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Good tune, but nowhere near as good as the Kate Bush original.<br /><br />Kisses,<br />Genghis xxGenghis Konghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06414157628472249452noreply@blogger.com6