Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Genghis Kong's Mission Statement


As you all should be aware, I am shortly to depart for Japan, where I will be studying in Tokyo for a whole year. Because of this I have taken the decision to start a blog, so as to keep all my lovely friends (and anyone else who, for whichever reason, ends up reading this) up-to-date with my adventures, travels and rampages across the Land of the Rising Sun.

I still have a couple of weeks left before I fly to Japan, (2 weeks exactly, come to think of it. Shit me that's soon) so I am currently sitting in my room surrounded by a decade's worth of accumulated shit, despairing as to how I should get it all organised, tidied and packed and generally sort my life out. Just to add to the general hubbub, excitement and stress I also have to plan for my trip to Bestival (it's the best festival, geddit?), which is going to be awesome fun, but the timing is far from ideal; I get back from Bestival next Monday evening and have to fly to Japan Tuesday morning. It's not gonna be pretty.

So, faced with these long lists of important things I need to do, and with time rapidly ticking down to zero-hour, I decided that the best use of my time would be to start writing my blog. Woo!

I have set myself a few objectives to try and achieve whilst I am in Japan.

Genghis Kong's Mission Statement:
  1. Join a band and get into the Japanese pop charts
  2. Become an actor and get on Japanese TV
  3. Become a model and advertise Japanese haemorrhoid cream
  4. Become supreme overlord of all Japan and be worshipped as a god; or, if this fails,
  5. Achieve the total destruction of the Japanese nation and people
I've been told that 1, 2 and 3 might actually be surprisingly easy, purely by merit of my being white - Japs think white people are amazingly cool, and being white is practically enough in itself to make you a minor celebrity. I haven't quite worked out how I'm going to manage 4 or 5, but I'll think of something - it can't be that difficult.

Oh, I suppose I ought to have on mission statement something along the lines of
  • Don't fail my degree, don't get arrested, don't get deported
but where's the fun in that, eh? Besides, I'm going to be too busy conquering to worry about studying.

Well, I guess that's just about sufficient for my first ever blog ever, so I'll leave you with these words of wisdom:

We can dance,
We can dance,
Everybody look at your hands.


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